Letterman: A guy comes out asking Dave for his citizen papers.Iron Man 2 clip is old footage of a crappy robot.Dave talks about his mother and then talks with her via satellite.Top 10 pieces of advice for being a good mother presented by Dave’s mom.Amanda Peet.Comic Nick Griffin does standup.Wale performs.
Fallon: Common is sitting in with The Roots.Jimmy writes his weekly thank you letters.Cell phone shootout included a guy doing a wolf call.Maya Rudolph.Jimmy and Maya sing karaoke.Common.Court Yard Hounds perform.
Daily show: Jon goes through a couple of news stories.The car bomber made stupid mistakes.Greece is in financial trouble.Solution to the oil spill and Jon tries an experiment.An anti-gay activist is gay.Jason Jones tries to make Americans look like illegal immigrants on Cinco de Mayo.Mario Batali is the guest.
Letterman: Bumper sticker says how’s my jihading?A guy comes out with a turtle.The oil spill turned marine life into a monster.The car bomber was a citizen so all citizens in Arizona will be deported.Dave crushed by debris in Iron Man 2.Biff is back after being injured on the show and he talks with Dave.Journalist Brian Williams.Beth Ostrosky Stern.Court Yard Hounds perform.
Fallon: Paintings of Elvis doing goofy things and a fake Elvis sings about it.Betty White.Jimmy and Betty play beer pong.Oliver Platt.Comic Pete Holmes does standup.
Ferguson: Picture of the gay anti-gay activist with a bondage guy. A graphic for British election day. Craig says how to help Nashville. Mark Harmon. Sophia Bush. Local Natives perform.
Daily show: Politicians talk about what people want.A CNN anchor wears an ascot.Wyatt Cenac comes out wearing an ascot.TV show host Jon Meacham is the guest.
Letterman: Alan Kalter is covered in oil.BP says from space it looks like the earth has a goatee.Public reactions to the oil spill included Iran’s Mahmoud saying he has Mamma Mia tickets.Favorite Jack Hanna moments included an eagle flying away with Paul Schaffer.Top 10 things overheard at BP headquarters.Jack Hanna brings out animals.Kerry Washington.Willie Nelson performs.
Fallon: People in the audience get big heads while music plays and a tribe walks through the studio.Audience members compete to get spanx over their body the fastest.Joel McHale.Nina Dobrev.Musician Roger Waters.The New Pornographers perform.
Ferguson: Two guys with Craig Ferguson written on their shirts are on the stage and Craig brings the show's photographer on the stage. Scarlett Johansson takes up two segments. There was no time left for Seth MacFarlane. Craig, Scarlett and her friend end the show.
Daily show: Car bomber was arrested.Jason Jones talks to a pot store owner.Author Rosalynn Carter is the guest.
Letterman: No bombs sign in Times Square.Bloomberg as a jockey.Kirstie Alley as Peter Pan.Bloomberg’s bowtie spins.Getting to know the car bomber and he blew up a tool shed.SmallTown News.Top 10 dumb guy ways to fix the oil spill.Russell Crowe.Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings perform.
Fallon: Pros and Cons of celebrating Cinco de Mayo.Put it in Reverse had audience members acting out a doctor’s office scene in reverse.Ellen Pompeo.Lea Michele.OK Go performs.
Ferguson: A graphic for Star Wars day. Andy Garcia. Donald Glover.
Daily show: News coverage of an oil spill.Wyatt Cenac talks about it.Car bomb in NYC.Author Jonathan Eig is the guest.Jon checks in with Stephen about the car bomber.
Letterman: Noah’s Ark says Carnival on it.Airlines merging means double the problems.Horses fall into a puddle of mud.Dave does math on a blackboard to figure out the temperature.Dave talks to American Idol castoff Siobhan Magnus and then she sings.Top 10 BP excuses.Mickey Rourke.Jim Parsons.
Fallon: Wheel of Carpet Samples including Batman eating a taco and the making of it.Let Us Play with Your Look with Sarah Silverman.Sarah Silverman.Joan Rivers.Corinne Bailey Rae performs.
Ferguson: Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson. Morgan Freeman. Kate Mara.
Real time: American makeovers for illegal immigrants.New Rules: LA can’t always see the mountains behind it, house music wouldn’t be played in a house, Sandra Bullock had Tiger Woods’ baby, too many pillows on the bed, don’t make us type security letters, and Muslim extremists who threatened South Park are crazy.Bill talks about religious extremists.
Letterman: Dave says he talked to an alien before and it is a picture of Joaquin Phoenix.George Bush talking about his wife’s book is all confused.Dave talks about horse racing.Jay Leno will force Obama out of office and become president.A guy stands behind Dave in a jockey uniform.Dave breaks a phone because it wouldn’t work.Soccer player David Beckham.Dave talks to racetrack analyst Dave Johnson over the phone.Comic Mike Birbiglia does standup.The Hold Steady performs.
Fallon: Jimmy’s weekly thank you letters.Battle of the Instant Bands.Gwyneth Paltrow.Jimmy and Gwyneth sing goofy rap songs.Colin Quinn.JabbaWockeeZ performs.
Ferguson: Style Tips with Tim Gunn. Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson. Lauren Graham reads tweets with Craig. Author Peter Sagal.
Last Call: From a bar. Nick Offerman. Musical group Chiddy Bang. Daniel Merriweather performs.
Daily show: More coverage of the British prime minister race.John Oliver talks about it.Jon goes through a really confusing flowchart on how to fix Afghanistan.Michael Caine is the guest.
Letterman: Old footage of an all dog nightclub.Madoff countdown for his birthday.Wardrobe lady Sue has the tools for Dave to commit assisted suicide.A fire breathing giraffe on Mars.Guy eating a sandwich during a hearing.Dave tells a story about coffee.Cue card boy Tony Mendez yells in Spanish to a woman and gets dragged away.Top 10 other revelations in the Laura Bush book.Paul goes into the green room because they scared Dave before.Gwyneth Paltrow.The Broadway cast of American Idiot performs.
Fallon: Jimmy reads a goofy flyer for a fish taco cookoff.Shared experiences had the audience throwing streamers.Then they make balloon animals.Ed Burns.Ed and Jimmy play an Irish game.Jackie Earle Haley.The audience wears bald caps and screams for 10 seconds.Paramore performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks to two random guys. Tom Selleck. Neil Patrick Harris introduces Lance Burton. Magician Lance Burton performs and then talks with Craig.
Last Call: From a music store. Journalist Gavin McInnes. Singer Sia. Holly Golightly performs.
Daily Show: Tech writer who bought the lost prototype iPhone had his home raided.Michael Steele makes a bad comment about black people and Larry Willmore talks about it.Author Ken Blackwell is the guest.
Letterman: The show begins backstage with Dave accusing a woman of putting bleach in his drink.Noah’s Ark says life’s a beach.Old food fight footage is the Ukrainian parliament.FDR curses during a speech.Bush was poisoned and we see clips of him acting stupid.Dave talks about being on Regis this morning.SmallTown News.Top 10 signs your governor is nuts.Robert Downey Jr. talks and Dave uses an Ironman toy to disintegrate the cameraman.OK Go performs.
Fallon: A new episode of the show’s Lost spoof, Late, takes up two segments.Michael Caine.Mary Lynn Rajskub.Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings perform.
Last Call: From Carson's radio show studio. Singer David Guetta. New technology Hit Song Science. Music industry writer Nathan Rabin. RJD2 performs.
Daily Show: News about the Goldman Sachs fraud.SEC workers were watching porn at work.Samantha Bee talks about it.Author Richard Whittle is the guest.
Letterman: Madoff countdown.A guy comes out because Dave was bombing.Animated Obama gives you a tissue.Jack Kervorkian’s first killing machine was a tractor that runs people over.Top 10 signs your neighbor is an alien.Courtney Love.Michael Caine.Hole performs.
Fallon: Jimmy announces another band for Rolling Stones week.Pros and Cons of the KentuckyDerby.Dance Your Hat and Gloves Off.Brendan Fraser.Rebecca Hall.The Whigs perform.
Last Call: From a guitar shop. Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Music video producer Wayne Isham. Citizen Cope performs.
Daily Show: The show has some new graphics.A new state bill is hurting illegal immigrants.Wyatt Cenac talks about it and is joined by Jason Jones.Geico commercial voice actor fired for a bad comment.Jon talks to a CGI Pillsbury Dough Boy about commercial characters.Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency Lisa P. Jackson is the guest.
Letterman: Avatar without 3D is an old space movie in all blue.A super quick history of America on a History Channel special.It is Youtube’s anniversary and they have given us a bunch of stupid clips.Dave talks about the Kindle and aliens.Dave talks to American Idol castoff Tim Urban and then he sings.The manhole in the graphic of the Top 10 list hits Dr. Phil.Top 10 thoughts that went through George W. Bush’s mind as he wrote his memoirs.Dr. Phil.Sportscaster Jon Gruden.
Fallon: A guy in the audience talks about the Hubble telescope and then sings about it.Staff members, Kathie Lee Gifford and Jimmy read letters to back home.Kathie Lee Gifford talks and then plays name that tune with Jimmy.Brian Posehn.Gogol Bordello performs.
Real time: A really fat guy was once considered a freak at the circus.So Bill shows us some modern day freaks.New Rules: ghosts should be naked, dominos pizza is a last resort, the pope should jump into Iceland’s volcano, airplane companies who charge for bags and to use the restroom should merge and be called shitbag, don’t drink from the river that changes the gender of fish, and the government needs to stop funding NASA.Bill wears a tea bagger hat to say the debt must be lowered.
Letterman: A crazy cab in the city.King Tut in a Hawaii chair.Dave gives a gift to a couple stuck here because of the volcano.SmallTown News.A shirtless guy offers Dave a tissue.Kelsey Grammer.Dave does a special announcement for comic Jeff Altman, who says he has no standup so he talks with Dave.Hanson performs.
Ferguson: A fake news article says a concert is canceled so Craig has to stay home and masturbate. Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson. Drew Carey. Jason Aldean performs.
Daily show: Jon talks about the creators of SouthPark being threatened by Muslim extremists.So Jon shows clips of his show making fun of every religion.Aasif Mandvi talks about it.Jon sings about it with the gospel choir.Aasif Mandvi talks to a toy company that is bringing production back to America.Zoe Saldana is the guest.
Letterman: A guy comes out with an NFL jersey to take a picture with Dave.Counterfeit bill with Rod Blagoveich on it.The casket of the inventor of the trampoline bounces off a trampoline and into the ground.Dave talks about a birthday party for his son’s friend.Exxon wishes a happy earth day by spelling it out in the ocean with oil.Top 10 list is sponsored by antelope jerky.Top 10 features of the new Madden NFL 11 video game presented by Drew Brees.David Spade.EPA Administrator Lisa P. Jackson.Broken Social Scene performs.
Ferguson: The robot is having sound problems.Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson.Jeffrey Dean Morgan.Busy Philipps.
Daily show: Jon and John Oliver discuss the British presidential debates.A politician accuses another one of being gay.Author Fred Pearce is the guest.
Letterman: Alan Kalter is dumping waste before earth day.Doormen are going on strike and we see the clip of Bush being unable to open a door.Dave talks about a guy in the audience.iPads will now come with an iFinger since a guy lost his finger when his iPad was stolen.Two women with a fake dead guy try to hail a cab.Top 10 excuses of the guy who lost the iPhone prototype.Eddie Murphy.Kaley Cuoco.Jakob Dylan performs.
Ferguson: Craig says the show is having audio problems tonight. A picture of a sheep pig. Craig makes the skeleton head do a twitter jingle. Brooke Shields. George Wallace. Corinne Bailey Rae performs.
Hey readers, tonight is the one year anniversary of this blog. I'd appreciate it if you could post a comment on this post just to let me know there actually are people who read this blog. Because if there aren't any I have been considering ending it. So please comment, thanks.
Daily show: A guy responds to Jon’s criticism of him and says Jon needs some guts.Jon talks about his views and criticizes the guy while a gospel choir sings behind him.Author John O’Hara takes up two segments.
Letterman: Three planes take off on top of each other.The same guy says he couldn’t come to work today because of the volcanic cloud.The iPad has made the Kindle useless so now it can be used to prop up a chair or as a spatula.Footage of stranded travelers getting home is clips of people getting into water sport accidents.Dave talks about the ring of a woman in the audience.Dave talks about Conan coming to TBS and then talks with fake versions of all the late night hosts where it is their pictures and only their lips are moving.Top 10 Goldman Sachs excuses.Demi Moore talks and sits on Dave’s lap to take a picture.Chef David Chang cooks with Dave.Justin Nozuka performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks to a random guy.Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson.The robot dropped and broke his snake mug.Emily Mortimer.Miranda Lambert performs.Comic Randy Kagan does standup.
Daily show: Jim Cramer was wrong again.Goldman Sachs is in trouble for fraud.Volcanic cloud in Iceland.Congressman John Dingell is the guest.
Letterman: The Museum of Modern Art has a sign outside that says Live Nude Girls.A staff member comes out to tell Dave that he can’t come to work today because of the volcanic cloud.A face in an image of the volcano sings Kung Fu Fighting.News anchors pronounce the volcano’s name wrong.Dave talks about the volcano.Then he talks about a party his son went to.Dave talks with American Idol castoffs Katie Stevens and Andrew Garcia and then they perform.Jennifer Lopez.Radio hosts Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg.
Ferguson: Craig has a book report a high school student wrote about his book.Clip of a guy interrupting a news report to say he hates Iceland.Gardening Tips with Willie Nelson.Brendan Fraser.Amanda Righetti.Comic Brian Scott McFadden does standup.
Real time: Bill goes through Zagat’s Guide to American Militias.New Rules: KFC’s new sandwich is bad, economists need to stop holding their hands like they’re praying, we’re still too lazy for the iPad, don’t tell black people to leave a store, Huckabee shouldn’t give parenting advice, Catholic church should molest Justin Beiber, and the woman who sent back her adopted child was right.Bill talks about how bad that kid was and lists leaders he wants to send back.
Fallon: Jimmy reads a goofy flyer about a sheep shearing festival.Jimmy writes his weekly thank you letters.An acapella group performs theme songs from ABC’s old TGIF lineup.Tracy Morgan.Diggnation’s Kevin Rose and Alex Albrecht.Football player Ndamukong Suh.The Flaming Lips perform with Stardeath and White Dwarfs.
Ferguson: Craig wears a bandana and wig to start the show.The robot has some new phrases.Craig says Craig’s Spanish Word of the Day is over.Willie Nelson.Ellie Kemper.Willie Nelson performs.
Last Call: From a restaurant.Director Matthew Vaughn.Author Seth Grahame-Smith.The Xx performs twice.
Daily show: Tea Party protests and Wyatt Cenac talks about it.Fox News complains about liberals.Samantha Bee talks to a friend of the show whose guns were stolen.Tracy Morgan is the guest.
Fallon: Members of The Roots and the staff give shout outs to weird things.Say What had audience members trying to figure out what a rambling redneck is saying.Chris Rock.Emma Stone.The Unseen, a mentalist act, perform, but they were such unbelievable hacks.
Ferguson: The robot makes some comments.Style Tips with Tim Gunn.Kirstie Alley.Sade performs.Kirstie introduced Sade and said goodnight with Craig.
Last Call: From batting cages.Jon Seda.Golfer and model Anna Rawson.She & Him performs twice.
