Friday May 29th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Real Time: Jon and Kate Plus Hate: we send a terrorist to live with the 8 kids and crummy parents. New Rules: We’ll put North Korean people on So You Think You Can Dance if they give up their nukes. A judge wishes Obama picked a lesbian. Honey Nut Cheerios needs to take the bee off the box since they’re going extinct. Don’t dress up in flamboyant costumes when protesting the gay marriage ban. I’ll walk instead of driving a pod car. Greed isn’t good, so Bill talks about greed and materialism destroying America.

Leno: A spelling bee contestant asks a lot of questions to spell the word “go.” White Thrash Theater: a youtube video. Really? These are the best they got on the last show? Best of Jaywalking and Jaywalk Allstars. Conan talks about the move over to the show, getting his original gig on Late Night and whether his comedy will be the same. Jay shows a clip of Conan’s first appearance on the show. James Taylor performs. Jay ends the show thanking everyone on the show and then talking about all the staff members who met working on the show and got married. He shows the 62 kids they all have had. He wants his legacy to be that their parents met on the Tonight Show stage. Nice ending.

Fallon: Jimmy gives a speech to the spelling bee spellers, including spelling out the runner-up’s name with big signs in the audience. Freestlyin’ with The Roots. Justin Long talks about Drag Me to Hell. Tony Hawk talks about his foundation and the new video game. Then he says he can do a skating line around Jimmy’s studio, but the show makes believe he does it by only showing the audience and Jimmy’s reactions. A polo player shows Jimmy how to ride the horse and hit the ball. A weird little sketch at the end of the show with Jimmy and Justin saying bye to each other.

Last Call: Andy Richter shows the Tonight Show set. Carson talks with Andy on the set about changes to the show. Volleyball player Michelle Moore. Wale performs.

Thursday May 28th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Leno: Best Comedy Bits. Billy Crystal shows some fake celeb tweets and Jay shows Billy singing on the first episode. He then talks about playing for the Yankees and how he ended up in a wheelchair. Finally he sings a goodbye song to Jay then realizes he’s only moving. Prince performs in a lounge setting. At the end he gives Jay a painting sized piece of paper with the words “Jay is the best. Even Paul Shaffer knows.” What an asshole. Jay didn’t get to read the whole thing and was saying it’s great.

Fallon: Jimmy sings about the extra time he has by deleting his social network profiles. Yet another gospel choir shows up just like there was one on Jay’s show for Crystal’s song. The Late Night Dance Challenge winners are here!!! No, I’m not that excited for it, this was a stupid idea. They try to teach Jimmy the dance and then he brings down some audience members to try as well. Jack McBrayer talks about some weird stuff and then takes an NBC page quiz. Janeane Garofalo. Rodney Atkins performs.

Last Call: Carson comes to us from an army base. Racer Nick Devila. Method Man and Redman talk, then perform.

Daily Show, Letterman, Ferguson: Repeats

Wednesday May 27th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Leno: Best of fake interviews. Wanda Sykes talks about her new kid and the White House correspondent’s dinner. Dame Edna. Sarah McLachlan performs.

Fallon: Audience members try to throw wieners into the cardboard cutout mouths of foreign leaders. Brooke Shields talks about her young modeling career and some charity. Kris Allen talks about American Idol then sings a song. Chris Hardwick talks about his new show Web Soup and shows some web clips. The Dream performs.

Last Call: Bill Bellamy, a skier and The Virgins perform.

Daily Show, Letterman and Ferguson: Repeats

Tuesday May 26th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Leno: Clips of Jaywalking people who became correspondents. One of them is an old lady who curses a lot. Jay shows a clip of guests on the show doing Arnold’s voice. Arnold Schwatznegger talks about the state and Jay shows a clip of Arnold’s best moments from the show including him announcing his run for governor. In the end Arnold gives Jay a certificate. A compilation of politicians on the show. Dwight Yoakam performs.

Fallon: Jimmy talks about what happened yesterday with Kreskin. Obama facial expressions and thoughts. A Head Swap segment turns out to be a long sing-along telling the story of how Jimmy trying to get to the graphics department turned into a fight over his wife. Whoopi Goldberg talks about her fear of flying and being on the influential person list. Stephen Baldwin talks about I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Keane performs.

Ferguson: Dave Foley talks about a fake gardening book. A censor sitting with them censors any innuendos. Chris Isaak and Moon Bloodgood.

Last Call: Carson grills. Common, comedian Adam Richman and The Doves perform.

Monday May 25th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Letterman: Repeat

Leno: Nancy Pelosi on Inside the Actor’s Studio has all the same expressions. Larry King falls asleep on the Today show. Headlines: A-Whole Chiropractics, 4 free pieces of Man Doo, Cockman-Dickman Wedding. Mel Gibson talks about his wife and then Jay shows a clip of Mel’s appearances on the show. A compilation of Things Gone Wrong over the years. Lyle Lovett performs.

Fallon: Smooth Operator: three guys read random lines to a blindfolded woman. Beastie Boys talk about their new album and they perform. Amazing Kreskin talks about Johnny Carson, then does a trick where he stands on Jimmy’s body. David Cook performs. The show ends early so they show promo outtakes, these were pretty funny. Elmo tells Jimmy to slow down, he’s got the job.

Ferguson: Craig opens the show in normal clothes, with an undone set and making believe there is no audience. But when the show comes back it’s all back to normal. Bob Saget and author P.W. Singer.

Last Call: Repeat … from the hardware store!

Friday May 22th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Maher: Homeless couple is given Viagra. Fake facts that Fox News and MSNBC would show during Obama and Cheney’s speeches. New Rules: Nothing wrong with Obama playing sports in the white house. Get rid of the coexist sticker. Parrots won’t get you laid. Woman had twins from two different fathers. Republicans want to rename Democratic party so they should do the same. Electing a superhero won’t solve problems.

Letterman: Celebrity Commencement Speakers: The podium is taller than Tom Cruise. Sex Land turns into Marriage Land. Dave owns stake in an F1 team and the driver is in the audience. Top 10 low budget summer fun tips. Ricky Gervais. Green Day performs.

Leno: Best of Ross moments. Brian Williams and Jesse James. Tori Amos performs.

Fallon: Jimmy uses his Terminator eye to get details on audience members. Dance video compilation. The Muppets sent in a video too. Keith Olberman talks about baseball cards and sports. Sig Hansen from the Deadliest Catch talks about his job, then makes Jimmy try it out. Some lady performs.

Ferguson: Mark Ruffalo and Mindy Kaling. The Decemberists perform.

Last Call: The Marlon Brothers. Forrest Griffin. Glasvegas performs.

Friday May 22th Daytime Talk Show Recap

Regis: Bridget Regan from Legend of the Seeker talks about the show while looking mighty fine.

Thursday May 21th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Obama and Cheney have dueling conferences. Homegrown terrorist plot in NYC. Jon calls Larry King a degenerate and talks more about the bad parts of his book. Jon shows the back of Larry’s book which has him kissing a baby and Jon asks if he’s sucking the life out of him to stay vital.

Letterman: Cheney has swine flu? NASA pilot forgets to plug in the urine purifier. Biff eats from the bones of Ida the fossil. Terminator robot talking to Dave. Top 10 things I’ve learned during Fleet Week in NYC presented by members of the Navy. Amy Sedaris probably rambled about some crazy shit, I don’t know didn’t watch her. Ed Helms talks about his missing tooth and does a Tom Brokaw impression. An old lady performs.

Leno: Jay is dressed as a fan of Adam Lambert’s crying when he loses. Larry King’s son is an old man too. Security guards throw Ann Courie over the ledge when she touches Brad Pitt’s face. 99 cent items: strange round stool, monkey with a long tail in his front and hardon tea. Andy Samberg had the same hair Jay did when they were younger doing standup. He then talks about motherlover and hosting the MTV movie awards. Kris Allen. Lionel Richie performs.

Fallon: Iphone apps: Perezify it, isneeze and sketch switcher. Late Night Air Drum Challenge: audience members do air drumming. Keifer Sutherland talks about 24. Ivanka Trump talks about the empire and Jimmy shows off some real and fake Trump products. Ivanka and Jimmy play beer pong. Some band performs.

Ferguson: Craig is William Shatner trying to get onto the Star Trek set. John Waters and some band performs.

Last Call: Race car driver Ryan Hunter-Reay. Sasha Grey. The Kills perform.

Wednesday May 20th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Obama tries to fix the gas crisis. British scandal.Elizabeth Edwards talks about her book and healthcare.

Letterman: Ida the fossil was wearing a fanny pack. Streets are closing down in NYC for the summer so now cars can drive on sidewalks. Dave rambles on about electric cars, yeah I’m ready for Conan. Stephen Colbert talks about his children, commencement speeches and Richard Branson waterskiing with a naked woman. GM Executive talks about electric cars then brings one out and Dave does the same electrified joke.

Leno: Best of Celebrity Correspondents: Dana Carvey, Bill Maher, Dave Chappelle, Chelsea Handler, Tom Green, Brad Pitt. Bill Maher talks about some of his correspondent work for Jay, about Obama and healthcare. Host of Man vs Food, Adam Richman, talks about food. Mandy Moore performs.

Fallon: Funny graduation pics. Evolution of animals based on humans actions. Target Demographic: Models. Jim Cramer talks about stocks with Jimmy, then teaches Jimmy how to act like him. Bryce Dallas Howard talks about Terminator and hanging out with her father Ron Howard, she’s really cute. Dierks Bentley performs.

Ferguson: Craig does Simon Cowell on Sesame Street, dancing with a skeleton, millionaire, deadliest catch, as a jonas brother, on 60 minutes, dirty jobs, host of late late show and cops. Guy Pearce, comedian Hattie Hayridge and Hensley performs.

Last Call: The band Airborne Toxic Event all show.

Tuesday May 19th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: A football player is mad Obama didn't come visit him. No state wants to take the Gitmo prisoners. Two part interview with Newt Gingrich where he talks about Nancy Pelosi and the banking crisis.

Letterman: Why are old Republicans so happy? They’re going to die so they don’t have to worry about the damage the other old Republicans caused. Dodge Downhill runs on no fuel. Bird callers. Jane Fonda talks about her play and what else she’s up to. Kenny Chesney performs.

Leno: Obama trips a kid. Fred Willard plays a doctor. Blockbusters on a Budget. Terry Bradshaw tries stand-up and Jay shows an old clip of him cracking up with an old lady. An 8 year old pianist sings a song about Jay proclaiming he is the King of Fall Late Night, yeah right. Blink 182 performs All the Small Things.

Fallon: Jimmy shows another dance video. Who Cares Hindenbergh: Spencer is making a rap album, Miss California on Fox News and Pete Wentz in a Degrassi movie. Lickin it for Ten: one person licks a domino then another catches the last domino. Matt Lauer talks about interviewing, his role in Land of the Lost and giving commencement speeches. Jimmy brings out a baby deer who wrote Matt a letter. Mary McCormack. Jimmy talks to UFC President Dana White and then does some bag boxing. A band performs.

Ferguson: Kathy Griffin and an author.

Last Call: Joel Madden interviews Snoop Dogg, McG and Keane. First show ever hosted in a freakin' hardware store as Carson stocks up on earthquake gear.

Monday May 18th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Obama’s speech at Notre Dame. Jon tells Chrysler to be a fucking person after they screw over Chrysler dealership owners. An F1 racer is the guest.

Letterman: Cool/Uncool presidential moments at graduations. Tom Hanks provides the sound effects for Angels and Demons. A restaurant owner was watching Dave eat on a camera. Late Show Weight Loss Challenge. Top 10 other Biden secrets. Ben Stiller isn’t too interesting. A band performs.

Leno: Headlines. Cameron Diaz. Comedian Kirk Fox does stand up. Blink 182 performs Girl at the Rock Show.

Fallon: Tv shows combine: The Big Bong Theory. Dancing with the Deadliest Stars featuring OJ. Extreme Makeover Dog the Bounty Hunter Edition with a mullet (yeah Jimmy has awful writers). Mad Men+Intervention=Glenn Beck. America’s Got Gupta. LostBoner. Tales of the Crypt+AC360=Larry King Live. F1 drivers race to drink milk with Jimmy. Beef Solvers with John and Kate Gosselin and they bring out people playing the kids. Simon Baker talks, then goes surfing on practice surfboard with Jimmy. Carla Cugino talks about her new play. Method Man and Red Man perform and go over to Jimmy’s desk.

Ferguson: Craig does a lip synch dance to Oops I Did it Again. Craig does a soap opera sketch. Justin Long went out with a baby hand just like Kristen Wiig on SNL. Author Lawrence Block.

Last Call: Repeat.

Monday May 18th Daytime Talk Show Recap

The View: Jesse Ventura talks politics and tells Sherri that MVP and his fellow wrestlers wouldn't be good to date because they're always on the road.

Bonnie: Elisha Cuthbert tells some long boring stories about her past in acting. She's hot, but not very interesting.

Ellen: Marisa Miller talks Victoria Secret. Jamie Foxx performs.

Oprah: Taylor Swift shows up.

Friday May 16th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Maher: Christian Breast Augmentation: Bill plays the pastor who does the surgery. New Rules: Stop the outrage over Obama laughing at Wanda Sykes jokes. Spock needs a different haircut. Lysol needs to kill all germs. Miss California and Joe the Plumber need to combine together. Don’t kill endangered animals. Don’t make college students sit through commencement speeches. Bill gives a speech to college grads tell them they are screwed.

Letterman: Famous Star Trek lines. Friday’s now ready for snake bites. Fun Facts. John Goodman talks about overcoming alcoholism and his new play. A comic and a metal band performs.

Leno: A woman loses her dress to a blowing fan. Pumpcasting. Kevin Bacon shows when a basketball player jumped over him and Leonardo Dicaprio. Julie Scardina with a gibbon, a pelican and a baby tiger. The pelican bites Jay’s finger. Kings of Leon performs.

Fallon: Jimmy shows off people’s dance videos. A Star Trek rap video starring Jimmy as TuSpock. Facebook statuses. Damon and Marlon Wayans talk about Dance Flick, then try to match each others answers to questions about each other. Marlon wore a tiny suit to the Emmys and the sketch never happened. Damon stuck his penis through a hole in his pants and made Marlon touch it. Steve Kroft tells Jimmy he never asked Jane Krakowski a single question and shows an awkward interview he had with Clint Eastwood. Yusuf Islam performs.

Ferguson: Craig as the Mona Lisa painting. Ewan McGregor. British sportscenter with Ewan. All American Rejects perform.

Last Call: No Doubt. Adam Carolla.

Thursday May 14th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Obama decides to keep the torture pictures secret and a gay translator is discharged. Jon Oliver discusses the reasoning behind this: He’s gay. Samantha Bee reports on Michelle Obama plating an organic garden and how it is elitist. Some guest talks about global warming.

Letterman: Tom Hanks finds Oreos instead of an artifact. Ron Howard presents Top 10 things you don’t want to hear from your director. Kid scientists including Dave popping a huge, loud balloon. Teri Hatcher talks about her daughter gambling and bees.

Leno: Martha Stewart shows off her boobs on her show. Man vs Machine: chopping onions by hand or in a blender, blowing out birthday candles by breath or by hair blower, and John Melendez races a car a couple feet. Katie Couric shows off that awesome auto-tune the news youtube video. Ewan McGregor. The Decemberists perform.

Fallon: Jimmy’s parents star in Lawst. Shared experiences: headbanging with wigs on. Maya Rudolph talks to Jimmy bout old SNL memories and sings something with him. Shared experience: glow in the dark glasses. Damon Wayans Jr. Mindy Kaling chats with Jimmy over webcam and dances like she would for a bf. Shared experience: Throwing foam balls at the camera. Asher Roth performs and we see Jimmy made some lady sit on the steps so he could have her seat. Bad Jimmy.

Ferguson: Sketch with Tim Meadows from Washington, DC. Howie Mandel kept the label on his pants and called it a great urinal napkin because now he doesn’t even have to touch himself. The man has officially gone bonkers. Some author.

Last Call: Kelly Monaco and Joe Torre.

Thursday May 14th Daytime Talk Show Recap

The View: Neal McDonough talks about his character on Desperate Housewives, how great it is to work there and being on Star Trek.

Ellen: Anderson Cooper talks about swimming with the sharks and a charity, then plays a word game with Ellen. Kelly Clarkson performs.

Wednesday May 13th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Funny Pope moments.

Letterman: Hubble tech support makes them hold on. Vice Pope Cheney. Biff and Dave in Star Trek. Top 10 surprises in Sarah Palin’s memoirs. Robin Williams and Dave talk about the heart surgery they both had. Some jazz musician performs.

Leno: Battle of the Jaywalk Allstars. Kevin Spacey takes over Jay’s desk just like he did on Conan. Only d-bag stars do that sort of thing like him, Aniston, etc. Roberta McCain, why is she here? Yusuf Islam performs.

Fallon: Jimmy talks more about the dance contest and brings someone up to do the stanky leg. Freestylin’ with the Roots. Jane Krakowski and Jimmy roller skate. Jeff Probst talks about crazy Survivor contestant Coach. Comedian Bo Burnham performs two pretty good songs about men, women and love. Dance crew The Beat Freaks perform.

Ferguson: Laurence Fishburne and comic Paula Poundstone.

Last Call: Playmate of the year and Kevin McKidd.

Wednesday May 13th Daytime Talk Show Recap

Martha Stewart Show: NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg talks about the city’s landmarks and some of the fun stuff he has done.

The View: Michael Emerson and Jorge Garcia talk pretty much all about Lost and clues for the finale.

Bonnie: James Denton talks about his family, Desperate Housewives and brings out his son.

Ellen: Jay Leno talks about memories from his show and what he plans to do next. Ciara performs another hot dance.

Oprah: A report from Daily Show’s Samantha Bee about her make-believe dozen children. Also Dane Cook, George Lopez and Monique, but they all suck.

Tuesday May 12th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daly Show: The media’s scrutiny over Miss California. Nancy Pelosi lies about not knowing about the torture being done. Jason Jones reports from Arizona State University where they won't give Obama an honorary degree. "I heard Arizona State is like the Harvard of date rape." Tom Hanks talks about Angels and Demons.

Letterman: Presidents who made us laugh. Movie remakes: Citizen Kane with all monkeys. More true tales from the old west, zzz (Conan can’t come any sooner). Top 10 signs you’re obsessed with star trek. Biff’s exit interview with Tom Hanks. Alec Baldwin talks about marriage and his brothers. Maya Rudolph talks about her life post-SNL and her new movie. Some lady performs.

Leno: Battle of the Jaywalk Allstars. Dennis Miller. Kentucky Derby winner Calvin Borel. Kelly Clarkson performs.

Fallon: Jimmy does Trump announcing a bunch of ridiculous things. Late Night Dance Challenge – Jimmy is looking for an official dance for the show and has two audience members come up with a dance. Andy Samberg talks about meeting Jimmy and SNL. Andy and the rest of The Lonely Island perform I’m On A Boat! Jorge Garcia talks about Lost and happenings in Hawaii. Jorge fed a boar ham by mistake and Jimmy went on a helicopter ride with a vomiting old lady. Jimmy and Jorge spin a wheel for situations to say the word “dude” in.

Ferguson: Murder She Wrote with Melina K. from CSI and Craig as an old lady. Melina’s bra and panties are seen when they turn on the dark light. Paulina Porizkova and Andy Nulman.

Last Call: Oscar Nunez talks about The Office.

Tuesday May 12th Daytime Talk Show Recap

Ellen: Matthew Fox talks mostly about Lost, being a pilot and giving a commencement speech. Lady Gaga performs and talks to Ellen wearing some stupid round metal thing over her head.

Monday May 12th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Stars show up for the White House Correspondents Dinner and they compare the Republicans outrage at some of the jokes going too far to torture being going too far. An author of a book about a famous ponzi schemer talks about it.

Letterman: Don Rickles at the White House Correspondents Dinner. A tower next to the spaceship goes up instead. Tom Hanks talks about his dogs, his trip to the inaugartion and Angels & Demons. The Killers perform.

Leno: Headlines: food shaped like a penis. Russell Brand talks about going to a boxing match with Diddy and his new projects. Elizabeth Banks tells some boring stories about her animal encounters. Her talking about the hot chicks with douchebags website last time was so much better. Ciara performs.

Fallon: Jimmy talks about Barry F’n Gibb. Secret car ideas. Real animals with fake arms. A video from Jimmy’s graduation over the weekend, then Jimmy hangs his diploma in the studio’s rafters. Susan Sarandon talks about her role in motherlovers and her broadway play. She said her 16 year old son told her to do it and more risqué scenes were cut. Randy Jackson talks about that stupid show and then plays guitar while Jimmy sings some song. Souljaboy performs.

Ferguson: Henry Winkler does a bit about saving money. Steven Wright and Bryce Dallas Howard.

Last Call: Repeat

Friday May 9th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Real time: The Phone Company: Voice, Data, Sexting. Bill talks to James Carville. Bill reports on Obama scandals he as a liberal had been hiding: Obama eating off the floor, smoking weed, having an affair with Monique, Michelle naked and Obama dealing pills. Bill talks to Seth MacFarlane about Fox, gay marriage and cheating. New Rules: Everyone in the senate has the same haircut. Miss California and Joe the plumber shouldn’t talk about marriage. Obama button on Obama cartoon. Supreme Court has too many men. Vibrators have become too complicated. Obama telling people to wash their hands actually had an effect. So Bill suggests he should tell us to do more things.

Letterman: Biden tells people to protect themselves from the sun they should not leave the home. Star Trek fights against swine flu. Dave’s mom presents Top 10 things you don’t want to hear from your mom. Matthew Broderick talks about his trip to the new Mets stadium and his children. Comic Brian Regan does stand up. Chris Cornell performs.

Leno: Abe Lincoln is not the father clip. Mothers day gifts. Jamie Lee Curtis reads a children’s book about Jay and gets cozy with him in a photo booth. Jonah Hill talks about fans and riding a plane. Jewel performs, when did she get her teeth fixed?

Fallon: Jimmy jumps over a trashcan. Playlists on people’s Ipods. The two Spocks, Nemoy and Quinto talk about the movie. Star Trek school of acting has the three of them reacting to explosions in the studio. Joan Rivers talks about her books and other random stuff. Jimmy cooks with Rachael Ray while their hands are tied together.

Ferguson: Craig breaks the glass on a camera. Amy Smart talks about yoga. Kunal Nayyar from The Big Bang Theory is a funny guy.

Daly: Matthew McConaughey. Kaley Cuoco gives us an update on what happened between her and Gavin DeGraw from the last time he was on. He called up 4 months later thinking she was still interested.

Friday May 9th Daytime Talk Show Recap

Morning Show with Mike and Juliet: They talk to J.J. Abrams about the most basic Star Trek stuff. No wonder this show is getting canceled.

The View: Leonard Nimoy talks about returning to Star Trek and a guy in the audience almost convulses when Nimoy gives him the hand signal and tells him Live Long and Prosper.

Bonnie: Amy Smart talks about animals and her movie.

Thursday May 7th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Maine allows gay marriage and congressmen are mad. Britain bans certain people from their country then Jon and John Oliver accuse each other of hating the other’s country. Larry Wilmore reports on whites becoming the minority, then interviews a group of children and brings in Robin Thicke who has “adapted to become black.” Secretary of the Interior is the guest.

Letterman: Brett Favre goes from team to team. First they had bump Obama’s fist, now they have bump Keifer Sutherland’s head. Joe Grossman tries to pass off Bush jokes as Obama jokes again. Leonard Nimoy presents the Top 10 things never before said in a star trek film. Norm McDonald tells some stories. Late Show Bulletin: some stupid internal memo. Animal Collective performs with people in colored sheets.

Leno: Carrot Top entertains the latest American Idol castoff. Funny criminal tapes and recordings. Adam Sandler sings Jay a goodbye song. Judd Apatow talks about the Time 100 party and his history with Adam. Souljaboytellem performs.

Fallon: Slow jamming the news about the supreme court position. Jimmy goes through submitted acceptance speeches for his webby. Jimmy beams characters into the studio. Martha Stewart does some talking then does crafts with her two French bulldogs. Mike Epps. Ben Harper performs.

Ferguson: Matthew McConaughey and author Cokie Roberts.

Daly: Tim Roth and Miranda Kerr.

Thursday May 7th Daytime Talk Show Recap

Ellen: Vannessa Hudgens talks about her career and Zac Efron. All while looking super hot.

Wednesday May 6th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Pakistan needs help to get rid of the Taliban. The news covers Barack and Joe’s visit to the burger shop. George Stephanopolis.

Letterman: “Tony award nominations are out, we were nominated here for biggest waste of a Broadway theater.” MTA fare hike will only bring about more of the crappy service. PBS will give a Hitler tote bag if you donate during their Hitler documentary. Andy Kindler reports on Global Warming. Bruce Willis comes out with a rubber band hat on his head and shows off his hot young new wife, hot damn! Then he brings out a male cop stripper and Bruce Willis watches the two chicks fight in Obsessed. Stanley Konkrite in the CBS store is mad at Dave. Ben Harper performs.

Leno: Celebrity Jeopardy with Bush, Spock and Frank Caliendo as Jay. Tim Allen. Jon Cho. Van Morrison performs.

Fallon: Photoshopped pictures of Barack and Joe’s day out. Amy Poehler and Ratchel Dratch play old ladies that live below Jimmy’s studio. Jimmy does fake local news. Amy Poehler talks about their past together and Parks and Recreation. Then in another segment they go through Amy’s competition in the MTV movie awards. Two Spanish actors talk about their new movie. The National performs.

Ferguson: Melina Kanakaredes. Nathan Fillion. Zac Brown Band performs.

Daly: Jimmy Fallon.

Wednesday May 6th Daytime Talk Show Recap

The View: The co-founders of Twitter talk about why the site is so popular, how they came up with the idea, the possibility of a buyout and how they plan to stop impersonators. They came up with the idea from AIM away messages.

Bonnie: Zachary Quinto talks about his childhood, family and Star Trek.

Tuesday May 5th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily show: America now owns more car companies. New Daily Show correspondent Josh Gad sets up situations for giving bank loans. Republicans attempt at new ideas aren’t really new. Fareed Zakaria.

Late Show: Obama’s Hispanic pick for Supreme Court Justice is shown hosting a crazy Spanish court show. Small town news. A Mexican mariachi band with swine flu masks interrupts Dave. Liev Schreiber. Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Franz Ferdinand performs.

Leno: Ross Matthews pulls some lady out of a restaurant and brings her to the studio to hit a piñata in the shape of Jay’s head for Cinco de Mayo. Howie Mandel comes out in a hazmat suit, hilarious, and talks about his germaphobic ways. 12 year old author Alec Greven talks about his how to talk to parents books.

Fallon: Audience members go bobbing for tamiflu in a big margarita. Jimmy flashbacks are interrupted by the flashback master. J.J. Abrams talks about his childhood, his career in the business, Star Trek and his Wired magazine. Colin Quinn and Jimmy are like best of buds.

Ferguson: George Hamilton

Daly: Lily Allen