Thursday May 14th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: Obama decides to keep the torture pictures secret and a gay translator is discharged. Jon Oliver discusses the reasoning behind this: He’s gay. Samantha Bee reports on Michelle Obama plating an organic garden and how it is elitist. Some guest talks about global warming.

Letterman: Tom Hanks finds Oreos instead of an artifact. Ron Howard presents Top 10 things you don’t want to hear from your director. Kid scientists including Dave popping a huge, loud balloon. Teri Hatcher talks about her daughter gambling and bees.

Leno: Martha Stewart shows off her boobs on her show. Man vs Machine: chopping onions by hand or in a blender, blowing out birthday candles by breath or by hair blower, and John Melendez races a car a couple feet. Katie Couric shows off that awesome auto-tune the news youtube video. Ewan McGregor. The Decemberists perform.

Fallon: Jimmy’s parents star in Lawst. Shared experiences: headbanging with wigs on. Maya Rudolph talks to Jimmy bout old SNL memories and sings something with him. Shared experience: glow in the dark glasses. Damon Wayans Jr. Mindy Kaling chats with Jimmy over webcam and dances like she would for a bf. Shared experience: Throwing foam balls at the camera. Asher Roth performs and we see Jimmy made some lady sit on the steps so he could have her seat. Bad Jimmy.

Ferguson: Sketch with Tim Meadows from Washington, DC. Howie Mandel kept the label on his pants and called it a great urinal napkin because now he doesn’t even have to touch himself. The man has officially gone bonkers. Some author.

Last Call: Kelly Monaco and Joe Torre.