Daily Show: Jon talks about the husband and wife who crashed the white house dinner.Aasif Mandvi talks about only being invited to the lunch, then Jason Jones says he got into the dinner as a white guy in a tux with a hot blonde.Jim Gaffigan is there as a fake news reporter just trying to take a picture with Jon.Wyatt Cenac reports on Americans moving to Mexico for their health care and tries to make it sound bad when it is actually good. The guest is a reporter who was jailed in Iran for a piece he did on the Daily Show.
Conan: Chevy Volt’s voice says annoying things.Conan shows a clip of a Bolivian newscaster who wears an eyepatch.Conan brings out a wax Conan and then Andy has a weird looking wax Andy head on a doll body.In the Year 3000 with Andy, why not Shatner?William Shatner.AnnaLynne McCord talks about the paparazzi, liking Star Wars and what type of man she wants.The cast of Mary Poppins performs.
Ferguson: A Sean Connery Holiday Moment was Craig as Connery in pajamas telling an old story. Michael Sheen. Carl Bernstein.
Fallon: Another plug for Robert DeNiro’s new movie.Freestyln’ with The Roots.Before the commercials Jimmy does an ad for Subway giving an audience member a Subway sandwich and another one a homemade sandwich.Fred Armisen talks about goofy things like usual and does impressions of drummers on a set of drums.Then Fred and Jimmy play charades with their surprise guest partners, Fred’s wife Elisabeth Moss and Amy Poehler.Carey Mulligan.Jimmy, Fred and Carey cook thanksgiving leftovers with Chef Daniel Boulud.Then to end the show all of tonight’s guests and surprise guests plus Higgins are sitting at a thanksgiving table, where they end up playing duck duck goose as the credits roll.
Conan: Balloon boy’s balloon is part of the Macy’s parade.CBS blurred Adam Lambert’s gay kiss so Conan shows that they also blurred NFL footage of a QB behind the player waiting for the ball.A message from Conan’s father upset that Conan is working.Conan’s mini-dose of joy brought out those same puppies now dressed as Thanksgiving dishes.A video package of Conan sitting down with Jordan Schlansky, Pierre Bernard and Wing Pang for thanksgiving dinner.Pee Wee Herman shows off some weird toys to Conan, him and Conan ride human sized Roombas and then does a thanksgiving scene with Conan as a boat, Max as an Indian, Andy as his daughter and La Bamba as a turkey.Donald Faison talks about his life.Bon Jovi performs.
Fallon: Jimmy promotes Robert DeNiro’s new movie yet again, maybe his appearance wasn’t worth all this?Jimmy talks with The Roots about their thanksgiving parade appearance.Jimmy’s weekly thank you letters are thanksgiving themed and included him talking about the tofurkey with the joke “if I see a tofurkey anywhere near my thanksgiving table you can go tofurk yourself.”Robin Williams.Rashida Jones talks then sings a short song about liking stuffing.Jimmy, The Roots and Rashida Jones sing Holiday Road from National Lampoon’s Vacation.
Last Call: From the Grammy museum.Whole show dedicated to Weezer.A video package about them, a performance featuring Sara Barailles, a video about their fans, another performance, and a performance featuring Chamillionaire.
Letterman: Pardoned Turkey’s: Where are they now? chronicled the life of a turkey. Things more fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting attacked by a guy in a turkey suit was an old clip of Dave shooting the fire extinguisher at Richard Simmons dressed as a turkey. Dave talks to his mother via satellite and tries to guess the pies she made, but only guesses one of the two right. Dave shows the betting pool that the office had for the pies. Then he checks in with the satellite and a crew member is eating a pie. Top 10 signs you’ve eaten too much thanksgiving. Natalie Portman talks about moving into a new home, thanksgiving and Dave loves her new movie. We see the satellite feed again and that crew member is passed out after eating the whole pie. Adam Lambert performs.
Conan: Conan being Oprah suggests the movie Cool as Ice with Vanilla Ice and shows a clip of it. Then a new wax Tom Cruise is lowered from the ceiling then pulled up and down to jump on a couch like he did on Oprah’s show. A thanksgiving themed Twitter Tracker. Norm MacDonald does his usual dry humor about current events and jokes about what he is thankful for. Snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler. Comic Dan Cummins does standup.
Fallon: Mos Def and Talib Kweli are sitting in with The Roots. Jimmy talks to Talib about them sharing tents in Africa for a show, talks about himself and The Roots doing the parade tomorrow and again about Robert DeNiro’s new movie. Jimmy as Andy Rooney in a post apocalyptic world talks about life. Jimmy sings a few verses from two songs. A thanksgiving themed Lickin it for Ten including licking around a hand to make a hand turkey, licking the inside of a turkey which looked pretty sexual, and licking mashed potatoes away from a chute that then dropped down gravy. Seth Green. Padma Lakshmi talks about being pregnant and Top Chef. Mos Def and Talib Kweli perform.
Ferguson: Craig gets a phone call, which is a pre-taped message, from the real Morgan Freeman demanding crazy things for his appearance on the show next week. Robin Wright Penn. Craig cooks with Wolfgang Puck.
Last Call: From the Grammy museum. Whole show dedicated to David Gray. A video package about him, a performance, an interview and another performance, only one unlike the two the others have done this week.
Letterman: It’s the one year anniversary of the sneezing monkey clip.Regis Philbin’s absences over the years included him dragging a bodybag into a dumpster.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: being decapitated.Dave talks about his mother and getting in trouble for drinking once when he was young.Top 10 surprises at tonight’s white house state dinner included footage of that same monkey serving muffins.Zac Efron talks about bungee jumping, shows a clip of it, and about filming his new movie.Carrie Fisher.Rihanna performs.
Conan: Tuning in Late to the News has a clip of a woman talking about a product that stops pigeon droppings from hitting your hair.Conan is the new Oprah and suggests Steven Segeal’s cd and a bad movie titled a Gnome named Norm then shows a clip.Andy Will Try It turns into La Bamba Will Do It or Lose His Job to drink a tofu turkey and gravy drink.He drinks a huge class then spits it out and Conan feels bad.Three fake astronauts including the black staff member who kept talking about race, this guy is getting really annoying.Jack McBrayer talks about liking summer, going to P. Diddy’s birthday party and working with the cast of 30 Rock.Marissa Miller talks about the 3 million dollar bra and doing photoshoots.Weezer performs.
Fallon: Jimmy promotes Robert DeNiro’s new movie for some reason.Who Cares Hindenbergh goes down with stories about Carrie Underwood’s hair, Miley Cyrus not wanting to see New Moon and Pete Wentz moving to France.Cell Phone Shootout included three Victoria Secret Supermodels as a prize to hang out with for 25 seconds and one guy wins it.Claire Danes.Football player Chad Ochocinco talks, then Jimmy shows him some touchdown celebrations.The Pixies perform.At the very end of the show was some Real Housewives of Late Night bonus footage that included Jimmy making up a song about it being hard to be a woman.
Ferguson: Maria Bello. Peter Capaldi.Ben Harper and Relentless7 perform.
Last Call: From the Grammy museum.The whole show dedicated to the band Ok Go.A video package about them, a performance, an interview, and two more performances.
Letterman: Michael Jackson’s glove is the hamburger helper glove.The Were-Wolf Blitzer in New Moon.Local News Team of the Night promo stops short when Dave says they’ve lost power.Then the clip plays and it is a news anchor caught fixing her hair with a mirror.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting bitten by a snake.Dave talks about Oprah leaving her show and says he wants to take over her place.Tony Danza is backstage ready to take Dave’s place.Top 10 signs Oprah doesn’t care anymore.Robin Williams tells a bunch of old stories.Dave has a D magazine.Ashley Greene tells a story and talks about New Moon.
Conan: Max Weinberg is finally back.Vladimir Putin’s subtitles say he’s talking about that fat President of Peru.Cody Deveraux wants Conan to choose between him and wolfboy, so then a song plays being sung by Conan and he is upset that he has to choose.Then Cody and wolfboy fight and are broken up by Jerry Springer.So Cody runs outside and melts, then Jerry Springer follows him and also melts.A small talk moment with Max about a soccer game.Conan’s continuing saga of wanting to be the new Oprah has him showing that the movie he suggested rose 126% in interest on IMDB and him suggesting a chicken calendar.Taylor Lautner talks about the crazy Twilight fans, his body, shows a clip of himself doing amazing martial arts at a young age, and then catches grapes in his mouth from a really far distance.Jon Lovitz comes out crying that he just met Taylor, then talks.Timbaland performs with Nelly Furtado and SoShy.
Fallon: Two staff members, Tommy Lee and Jimmy read their letters home for Thanksgiving.Jimmy sings the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song as Neil Young.Blake Lively talks about a trip to India, an elephant painting her a picture there, her new movie and then answers gossip questions including her doing a riverdance and swiping a pen up Jimmy’s butt.When they come back from break they are acting awkward then show a clip of their past Thanksgivings where Blake keeps slapping Jimmy when he brought the same food as her.Tommy Lee talks about concerts then teaches Jimmy to play a guitar riff.ILO performs.
Ferguson: Craig has two women from New Zealand on stage to start the show.A clip from New Moon turns into a guy dancing with a werewolf mask on.Margaret Cho.NASCAR racer Carl Edwards.
Last Call: From the Grammy museum.This week the entirety of the episodes will be dedicated to musicians.Tonight was Brett Dennen.There was a video package about him, he performed, he chatted, performed again and yet another performance during the credits.
Letterman: Andre Agassi’s hairpiece played tennis.Dave talks about Canada.Coach Mike Singletary talks the usual nonsense.Viggo Mortensen talks about living on the outdoors where he ate a rabbit and other topics.Comic Paula Poundstone does standup.Lyle Lovett performs.
Conan: Obama interview with Fox News edited so that he was being pissed off.Parental Porn Blocker puts a teen’s parents’ heads onto their porn.Andy rides around on his segway podium.Conan proclaims himself America’s new Oprah.Then recommends the movie Killdozer and shows a clip of how bad it is.Then Andy appears in the audience on the segway podium.A video showing a dog harming the environment using fake dog hands.The black writer comments on the black couple from Couple’s Retreat being removed from the UK poster by showing movie posters with white people turned into famous black people.Eva Mendes talks about her controversial Calvin Klein ad and her twitter and facebook being fake.Jon Bon Jovi talks about his latest happenings and Richie Sambora comes out dressed as an NBC page with his dry cleaning.Bon Jovi performs.
Fallon: Jimmy’s weekly thank you letters.Real Housewives of Late Night had the ladies preparing Thanksgiving dinner then having a food fight.Joseph Gordon Levitt talks about loving the Roots, preparing for SNL and some online project.Then he and Jimmy play lazer tag running around the studio.Elvis Costello talks, then performs.
Ferguson: Neil Patrick Harris.David Gray performs.
Last Call: Carson rides his bike for green week.Morena Baccarin talks about her career and V.Lingerie Bowl player Britney DeGarbo talks about the sport and her day job as a nurse.Lisa Hannigan performs.
Daily Show: Things Not to be Thankful For included a stadium selling for really cheap, Goldman Sachs being douches, and more worry in congress about the terrorist trials.Two stories about gays included a worker getting fired for saying gay marriage is bad to his gay boss and a 10 year old who doesn’t want to stand up for the pledge because there is no justice for gays so he is called gay at school. Wrestler Mick Foley comes out to defend the boy. Jack's Mannequin band leader talks then they perform twice.
Letterman: Dave flashes his thanksgiving recipe on the screen really fast and I was able to see it via slow motion on my DVR, but there was nothing funny in it.Black guy from an old sitcom is Obama older.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: walking into traffic.Dave tells some weird story.Top 10 ways Obama can increase his popularity.Lyle the intern sets up a table with a thanksgiving meal in front of the camera and Dave eventually gets him to move.Then he shows a video he shot for school credit that had him smelling Dave’s coffee, his sandwich and Stephen Colbert.Stephen Colbert talks about his trip to Iraq and sponsoring the US Speed skating team.Emily Blunt talks about what she’s filming in NYC and her new movie.John Mayer performs.
Conan: Obama’s hair gets greyer and greyer, then balding as he talks about stress.A gate edited in front of footage of Heidi and Spencer from last night that blocked garbage being thrown at them.Cody Deveraux is joined by the wolfboy then Frankenstein who rips off his shirt to reveal his cut abs, but he couldn’t rip it all, then Cody runs outside and melts.Aaron Bleyhart from the website comes out to promote a game, but it sucks so Conan upsets him and makes him go sit with wolfboy and Frankenstein.More Green PSA’s included Conan going up stairs on Aaron’s back, Andy saying to eat the seeds of an apple then poo outdoors to make trees and La Bamba simply saying he has no education.Nicole Kidman talks about filming 9.Anderson Cooper talks about getting the swine flu, current events and was mad that Conan had Spencer and Heidi on.Leona Lewis performs.
Fallon: Jimmy as Robert Patinson is bothered about not being in New Moon that much.Moustache Fight was Wilford Brimley’s vs Gene Shalit’s moustaches with Geraldo Rivera’s mustache joining in, but the ending was blocked yet again by a full screen ad for Detective Jamface.Taylor Lautner talks about what he’s been up to and New Moon.Then he and Jimmy race on tiny motorbikes around the studio.Katey Sagal.Obits perform.
Ferguson: Sandra Bullock has a funny conversation about a tattoo being on her boob.Ben Foster talks and then Craig wants to end the interview awkwardly so they go silent and drink their waters to end the interview.
Last Call: From a mobile and green food cart.Sportswriter Bill Simmons.Boxer Dmitri S.Raveonettes perform.
Daily Show: News networks cover Palin’s book release and media tour.Then when conservatives say stupid reasons why liberals hate her, Jon shows what she says that is the real reason why he hates her.John Oliver at a NYC book store when Palin’s book launched talking to the people there and comparing them to the characters in the book and the evil liberal characters that Palin dislikes.Then he reads the book to a bunch of kids who hate it and one of them even says he’d rather kill himself than hear anymore.Lou Dobbs is the guest, who comes out to a Mexican mariachi band.
Letterman: Picture of Joaquin Pheonix is Khalid Shak Mohammed.A mummy exercising is some old movie clip, wth?World Series of Shuffling.A news reporter texting instead of reporting.Things more fun than reading the Palin memoir: drinking elephant dung squeezings.Stupid Human Tricks were not very good ones, but a chubby kid asked Dave if he saw him in Twilight, funny.Top 10 highlights of Obama’s interview with Fox News.Robert Pattinson talks about his career, New Moon and Dave played the fake clip gag on him.Where Are They Now, Cookie Monster, documented his marriage to a Hollywood star then downfall due to cookie addiction.Ray Davies performs.
Conan: Gov. Arnold visits the troop and a fake narrator talks about it using movie titles starring Arnold.Celebrity Survey.Seth Green.Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt talk about their stupidity and Conan isn’t very amused.Brian Setzer Orchestra performs.
Fallon: Jimmy sings green songs imitating popular artists and their songs, this was really good.Wheel of Carpet Samples: Green Edition with the usual weirdness including Evil Jimmy with a moustache at the announcing podium.Kristen Stewart talks about New Moon while Jimmy geeks out about how much he loved it, says Martha Stewart told her she had a dream about Robert Pattinson and more talk about the movie.Then Kristen tries to throw footballs at plates.Jamie Kennedy.The Avett Brothers perform.
Ferguson: David Duchovny talks then does an interview with Wavy the Crocodile puppet.Lewis Black.
Last Call: From a green furniture store.Obama’s former campaign manager David Plouffe.Skier Jeret Peterson.Metric performs.
Daily Show: Obama in China and the media gets upset when he bows.Aasif Mandvi talks about it.Joe Biden takes up two segments.
Letterman: The terrorist in the band ZZ Top.Palin’s face on Tom Cruise’s body on Oprah when he jumped on the couch.Palin on Oprah Recap was her saying she’s unqualified, random funny phrases and more.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting doused with oil from a deep fryer.Dave shows a clip of Palin in an interview where she says Dave’s “things more fun” clips aren’t funny and she doesn’t want to appear on his show to boost his ratings, but he should keep talking about her book.Dave shows a clip of an NFL owner who gave fans the finger then Dave gives the finger.Top 10 signs your NFL team owner is nuts.Penelope Cruz.World Series of Poker champion Joe Cada.The Script performs.
Conan: Palin’s words edited together to say she quit being governor because she was unqualified and other dirty things.Larry King’s face on a really old coin.Donald Trump in a video talking about his new moon resorts.New Moon footage of two werewolf guys about to fight each other then it cuts to footage of two wolves humping.Andy and Conan plug the new Andy Barker P.I. dvd by saying how much of a part Conan had in it.Conan also talks about the NFL owner who gave fans the finger, then Andy gives the finger and phone calls come in saying he has been fined and another from that owner saying he’ll pay.50 Cent talks about meeting with a kid who was thrashing him on youtube and other topics.Jane Lynch tells stories from her career and talks about working with Andy.50 Cent performs.
Fallon: Palin’s book “Goin Rogue” actually goes rogue and a fake FBI tries to catch it.It shot Rachel Maddow, jumped off the roof and later was in a hotel room making love to New Moon.Jimmy brings out three NFL Giants players to play the shock game with him and Jimmy freaks out when he gets shocked while the players barely feel it.Shakira. Cheech and Chong talk about their careers then do a song.Neko Case performs.
Ferguson: Woody Harrelson.Former football player Joe Theisman.
Last Call: From an electric motorbike store.Journalist Chuck Klosterman. Race driver Rhys Millen. Comic Drennon Davis does standup.
Daily Show: 9/11 terrorist masterminds will be brought to New York and news networks weigh in.Rudy Guliani contradicts what he has said in the past about the matter.Samantha Bee talks about how badly the media will handle the trials, showing clips including E reenacting Michael Jackson’s court cases and a guy being confused when reporting if Martha Stewart is guilty.Toy Hall of Fame inducts the ball in it’s eleventh year and Jon gets angry. The guest is an American reporter who worked as a cop in Japan.
Letterman: That clip of Gov. Arnold smoking weed is supposed to be him at the opening of a medical marijuana store.Fat Grover Cleveland on the cover of Newsweek.The M in Mayans turns upside down to form Wayans and we see their movies which are the actual evil.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting crushed by a dumpster.Dave talks about the terrorists coming to NYC and New York Times running a story about the word douche being used over 70 times in broadcast TV this fall.Top 10 surprises in the Sarah Palin book.Sharon Stone.Seth Meyers tells some long stupid story about a goat, no wonder SNL’s writing is so bad, and talks about Palin’s appearance.Wyclef Jean performs with Cyndi Lauper.
Conan: Obama’s speech in China about freedom is interrupted by a Chinese newscaster telling us they are having technical difficulties.Conan’s show in Japan is filled with weirdness including La Bamba speaking edited with Steve Urkel’s “Did I do that?”Cody Deveraux wants to talk to Bella Swan, then another shirtless guy comes in wanting to talk to wolf boys and then another shirtless guy with toilet paper covering his eyes and crotch wants to talk to mummy boys.Cody runs outside into the sun and melts when he realizes he can’t meet Bella.That last guy then dug out Conan’s cell phone from inside his briefs.Conan laughs after saying instead of driving to work you should take public transportation then gets into a limo during a Green Week Ad.Andy drinks then yells during his ad.La Bamba can’t pronounce long words in his ad.Kristen Stewart talks about all the crazy Twilight fans out there, weird Twilight products, touches Conan’s hair and talks about the movie.Judd Apatow talks and took pictures backstage of Kristen Stewart with cardboard cutouts of his kids.Carrie Underwood performs then talks quick.
Fallon: A montage of politicians about to kiss.Playlists on audience members’ Ipods.Tim McGraw.Anna Torv.Chef Josh Capon cooks burgers with Jimmy and Tim, then Higgins, an audience members and a Roots member judge the burgers and decide Jimmy the winner.
Ferguson: Craig gets mad at the producer during emails so when the show comes back they switch places for a minute.LL Cool J.Mindy Kaling.No time left for Ben Harper.
Letterman: A guy with long hair around bees is supposed to be Obama, what?Dick Cheney as Scrooge.Ghandi movie in 3D has his moustache pop off the screen.Dave tells a story about placing a smoke bomb in school when he was young.The crooked NBA ref is out of prison and returned to a game where one team beat the opposing team by a lot of points.Mariah Carey talks about filming Precious and her husband Nick Cannon.Dave has his old yearbook out to show a picture of the teacher who disciplined him for his stunt and then shows a picture of himself.Comic Kumail Nanjiani does standup.Then Dave has that teacher on the phone and talks to him about it.Mariah Carey performs.
Conan: Mic problems, crickets and laughter edited into George Bush’s first post presidency speech.Conan brings out the world’s tallest dog, but then brings out the tall dachshund that they used to have on the old show which is a normal dachshund in fake tall legs.What’s In and What’s Out had porkpie hats and actual pork and pie in a hat, a Shaq blackberry that makes grunts when you dial, Ed Hardy shirts and Ed Harris shirts, Brett Favre and an old guy doing extreme bike riding, and V-neck sweaters and V-neck pants with the guy’s crotch showing.Reese Witherspoon.Gaboury Sidibe talks about Precious and tells Conan her friend has a crush on him.Kris Allen performs.
Fallon: Don Pardo is sitting with Higgins.Don says an audience member’s name.Jimmy’s weekly thank you letters.An audience member does an obstacle course filled with bad luck objectives.Amanda Peet.Host of Tough Love, Steven Ward.Kid Sister performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks about Tmobile as the crocodile puppet then an ad says Harry Connick Jr’s performance is sponsored by Tmobile, lame.Dear Aquaman with Tim Gunn.Harry Connick Jr. talks first.More Dear Aquaman with Tim Gunn. Author Peter Sagal.Harry Connick Jr. performs.
Last Call: From a firehouse.Emmy Rossum.Photographer Zach Hymen talks about how he photographs nudity in public places.Crocodiles perform.
Daily Show: Lou Dobbs quits CNN and we see his closing, yet cryptic remarks plus some of his most racist moments.Jon watches Sean Hannity’s show at home to look for the them to mention his segment where he revealed the show used wrong footage for a protest, but Jon has to sit through the whole show and all their scary talk so he was breaking down crying.Then he brings out the guy who actually found the clip for them and it was an old guy whose age was actually young, but the show made him age so much.The health care bill status. Jane Goodall talks about animals. Moment of Zen: Carrie Prejean says Larry King is being inappropriate and he gets mad.
Letterman: Sammy Sosa’s face changes color then falls off.Rockefeller Christmas tree falls onto Al Roker.A message from George Bush to Obama tells him that the large wooden doors in China’s government office do not open and we see the clip of when Bush couldn’t open them.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: exposure to high frequency sound waves then the guy’s head explodes.Kid scientists show off their experiments to Dave. Amanda Peet talks about filming 2012 and her kids.They zoom a camera into her face and she shows how much she overreacted in her scenes at first.Dave pulls the fake clip gag on her.Dave checks in with Coach Singletary real quick who didn’t realize that his team’s game is happening right now.The Cribs perform.
Conan: Footage of Carrie Prejean on Larry King edited together to have her say he’s being inappropriate and him calling her a bitch.Conan’s PSA for being green has him saying he’s going to stop using cue cards then he forgets his lines.Andy’s PSA has him drinking during the day to avoid bars with high electricity use.La Bamba’s PSA has him dumpster diving for lunch.In the Year 3000’s intro video had George Takei talking and his head shooting lasers at Shatner’s head.Then the usual In the Year 3000 with Andy.Al Gore talks about global warming.Jim Parsons talks about getting the part in Big Bang Theory, early commercials he did and working on the show.Jason Mraz performs.
Fallon: Jimmy slowjams the news about political parties.Iphone Apps included I’m Fat Tom Brokaw who says your words in his voice fat sounding, Richard Simmons Yourself puts his afro and jumpsuit onto your face, White Noise Axl Rose editions has him singing while calming sounds are playing, Reiser Launch launches Paul Reiser into space, What would Reginald VelJohnson Do has him giving advice, and Root Your Ringtone has the Roots add a beat to a ringtone.Kate Walsh.Penn and Teller chat first and Teller was sitting in the first seat next to Jimmy even though he doesn’t talk like usual.Then they do an act with Penn explaining how Teller a sleight of hand trick.Goodie Mob performs.
Ferguson: Craig says CBS wants him to stop doing fart jokes so then he shows the Larry King and Carrie Prejean clip, but Larry is farting while talking to her and then starts singing while farting. The Rather Late Programme with Prince Charles had a message from the Queen and a birthday cake with the midget popping out of it, then stripping and dancing.Singer Trace Adkins talks about a comic book starring him.Comic Nick Griffin does standup.
Last Call: Carson insults his audience to start the show calling us “Late Night Losers.”From a hotel.Danny Glover talks about 2012.Surfer Rob Machado.Lissy Trullie performs.
Daily Show: Jon shows us a want ad for a Grateful Dead Archivist telling us how ironic it is and that they want a masters in archival management. Michael Steele responds to a guy telling him that Republicans are afraid of black people. So then we see the recent stories about white people in black face and Larry Wilmore comments on whether they are ok or not. Josh Gad reports on how the cash for clunkers program has hurt demolition derbies. Clarence Clemons is the guest.
Letterman: The woman who fell into the train tracks is Amy Winehouse. More fun than reading the Palin memoir: using a malfunctioning automatic hand dryer has it blow up in flames in a guy’s face. Dave has random gifts for a woman in the audience who told him it’s her birthday. Top 10 list with no category had a bunch of random current event stuff. Kate Walsh. Andre Agassi talks about his addiction, his fake hair and other topics. Then a wig drops down from the rafters and Dave gives it to the birthday girl. Norah Jones performs.
Conan: ET on the Sistine Chapel. Korean women passed driving test on her 950th try so we see supposed clips of her driving recklessly. Andy has a verification booth to watch the Carrie Prejean sex tape. Conando included a stunt double Conan to do sword fighting and an appearance by Mario Lopez to take the girl away then Conan is stuck with Andy dressed as a woman. Heather Locklear talks about returning to Melrose Place and slaps Conan to show him how well she does it. Dr. Drew Pinksy talks about sex addiction, tells celebrity addiction stories and has results of a test Conan took on how narcissistic he is and it was below the celebrity average. Comic Rodman does standup.
Fallon: Jimmy shows a zoomed in clip from last night that showed that one of the roaches actually escaped and they did not notice it. Then he shows footage from rehearsal while they were showing the clip and they actually spotted the roach on the set. Then he took out the roach in a canister that they trapped him in. Jimmy does a bunch of corny one liners before shooting a gun in the Call of Duty video game. A game where audience members try to guess which man boob is a famous person’s, lame. Jason Schwartzman talks about recording the voices for The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Joan Cusack talks about a new movie and about a charity. Carly Simon performs.
Ferguson: A George Bush impersonator reads the emails with Craig. Kenneth Branagh.
Last Call: From a Korean BBQ restaurant. Jared Leto. Olympic curler Debbie McCormack. Comic Quinn Dahle talks about himself then does standup.
Daily Show: News network anchors remember reporting on the fall of the Berlin Wall so all of the show’s correspondent’s make up funny scenarios they were in when they were covering it.Fox News uses footage from the tea party rally to make the health care bill rally seem bigger. Serena Williams is the guest. Jon checks in with Stephen who hypes a big story.
Letterman: Mikhail Gorbechev starting to break down the Great Wall of China.Madoff countdown.Trump’s hair on his private jet.Sesame Street chef uses Kermit as an oven mitt.More fun than reading the Palin memoir: microwaving your head.2012 movie ad says we’ll all die because of Sarah Palin.Top 10 ways the marines are celebrating their 234th birthday presented by members of the Marines.Jack Hanna brings in animals which included Jarod Miller appearing as just another animal handler, weird.Shakira performs and then sits down to chat.
Conan: There is an Obama Chia so they show a Big Mouth Biden Bass who keeps rambling on.Girl falling into the train tracks and people trying to stop the train has dialogue edited in that the actually wanted it to run her over since she was a Yankee fan in Boston.The black guy reports from a theater crying after watching the movie Precious.Audiency Awards with the prop guy explaining how he made the award, then how he himself was made, celebrity lookalikes, Conan being most well endowed and a Price is Right audience member running down to hug Conan.Jessica Biel.Bob Einstein as Super Dave Osbourne tells jokes and talks about his show.John Fogerty performs.
Fallon: Hot Dog in a Hole with the faces of the Twilight cast.Jeff Musial brings in animals including putting cockaroaches on Jimmy and a huge snake on his shoulders.January Jones talks about preparing for SNL and Mad Men.Then she and Jimmy play beer pong and Jimmy wins.Football player Troy Polamalu talks then teaches Jimmy how to tackle.Wale performs.
Ferguson: Adam Arkin.Author Nina Garcia.
Last Call: From an antique electronic museum.Paul Scheer talks about The League and his love for Lost.NASCAR driver Joey Logano.Grizzly Bear performs.
Daily Show: Events leading up to the health care bill passing and then it actually passing, but being dead on arrival in Senate.Lewis Black complains about Gitmo prisoners and others who are getting the swine flu vaccines first. The guest is a senator.
Letterman: Madoff countdown.Kim Jong Il’s headed edited onto an old guy dancing.A women’s soccer player punching and pulling hair might make people actually want to watch women’s soccer.Dave tells a story about toads at his son’s birthday party and losing them.Top 10 surprises in the health care bill.The crew drops a bunch of pumpkins off the top of the building.Bill Murray talks and leaves fall onto Dave’s desk, which they then blow away.Gabourey Sidibe talks about Precious.
Conan: Someone has to tell Nancy Pelosi to bang the gavel.20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall has two German guys smacking each other’s butts.Young people in Germany dancing around in bright leotards.A message from all of TV returns.It was a bunch of clips of people on tv edited together to say congratulations to Conan on his 100th show and Andy for doing them while hammered.Video of a message from Conan’s dad congratulating him, but saying his brother has accomplished more.Map of Disney World in China has attractions based on stereotypical Chinese things.“Andy Will Try It” has him trying a mouth and neck exerciser.Kelsey Grammer.Maj. Brian Dennis, with his dog Nubs, talks about saving the dog from torture in Iraq.David Gray performs.
Fallon: Jimmy gives a shout out to the NBC doctors for helping him last week so Roots band members and other random staff members also want to give shout outs to ridiculous things.Rush Limbaugh Karaoke, why are they still doing this?Laurence Fishburne talks about CSI.Elmo and Rosita from Sesame Street talk about the show’s 40th anniversary and Elmo got mad at Jimmy.Dance group Groovaloo performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks to the fake Gov. Arnold.Carla Gugino talks about being Polish in a movie she is filming.Author Dennis Lehane.
Letterman: Statue of Liberty lifting her skirt up because of the rat infestation.Northwest Airlines flights now give you the option to eject mid-flight.Things more fun than reading the Palin memoir: riding a car into a tree.Dave talks about some runners in the audience.Late Show Fun Facts.Ricky Gervais talks about his career and tells some stories.Comic Brian Regan does standup.Ralph Stanley and the Clinch Mountain Boys perform.
Conan: New Chrysler logo is the screaming face from that painting.Mickey is getting a darker look for a video game so they have a picture of Donald Duck in bondage gear.Conan brings out a bodybuilder whose face looks like Pender’s.So Pender strips down to the same tight underwear and poses.Conan shows a woman with a motorized sofa chair so Andy has a motorized podium that he rides around Conan.Conan shows rehearsal footage of Andy on the motorized podium and it falls forward.Conan shows a picture of a cheerleader who dressed in blackface for Halloween and the black writer comes out to talk about other people who have done blackface including Batman and Wayne Brady.Cory Monteith talks about his new fame and his old jobs.Harland Williams.Pixies perform.
Fallon: DJ Jazzy Jeff is sitting in with The Roots playing on a turntable.Jimmy writes his weekly thank you letters.Jimmy’s fake preacher is in the audience singing about rock salt, these bits are pretty fun.Rosie O'Donnell talks about doing Jimmy’s practice show and her new radio show.Ian Somerhalder talks about returning to Lost and his family being stuck in Hurricane Katrina, but being alright.DJ Jazzy Jeff first tries to show Jimmy how to use a real turntable, then shows him, Rosie and Ian the video game DJ Hero.Rosie has DJ Hero games for everyone and she is all over Ian, kinda disgusting.
Ferguson: Ewan McGregor runs around the set like he usually does when he comes out then talks.Producer Anthony Zuiker talks about his book and shows Craig an iPhone app of it.Regina Spektor performs.
Last Call: From a magic performance studio.Author Neil Strauss talks about his sequel to The Game and pick up techniques, then other stuff in his life.Mixed martial arts fighter Brett Rogers talks about his big fight versus Fedor this Sunday.Peaches perform.
Daily Show: Members of Congress have unique ways to discuss the health care bill and the health care bill keeps growing larger, then Jason Jones reports on it.Glenn Beck has appendicitis so Jon imitates him trying to crazily connect appendicitis to the problems of the world including doing his rant in front of a blackboard while copying his actions and gestures. The guest is the US ambassador at the UN.
Letterman: Statue of Liberty isn’t there, she called in sick because of the Yankees.An insane amount of news networks say Yankees are in 27th heaven, except for one last guy who says its their 26th championship.Things more fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting mauled by a giant rabbit.Biff Henderson in a video from the World Series games talking to the players and other personalities.Derek Jeter, Andy Pettite and Jorge Posada talk about their win, their careers and the future.Then at the end Hideki Matsui comes out with the trophy.Bill Maher talks about Obama and political parties.Keith Urban performs.
Conan: Levi Johnston was mad about the skit yesterday because those tweets weren’t really his.So William Shatner comes out again to this time read real quotes from Levi Johnston.Conan says the next bit was filmed using a Kodak camera and shows it off, while Andy says he used his to take a picture of Conan receiving a big suitcase of money from Kodak and we see the picture.Conan talks to Wing Pang backstage about the self defense class he is taking, then they both do fencing and eventually use a bunch of weird items.Jim Carey talks about the personal stuff on his website and how he used to attack Universal tour trams with a headbutt.So he goes outside and does it now, but everyone seemed to be in on it since they were overreacting as if it was an actual attack.Then he talks about The Christmas Carol including showing a clip of Scrooge saying humbug from all the versions of the movie that had been made.Then he wants to give out something to the audience, but it’s a sandwich.Olivia Wilde talks about being Maxim’s hottest woman, doing the photoshoot for it, Megan Fox talking to her about her crush comment and how she acted nervous about it and her husband being a price with a castle.Zac Brown Band performs.
Fallon: Joba Chamberlain from the Yankees comes out to play with The Roots since their Phillies lost.He hits three keyboard keys while The Roots play Empire State of Mind.Real Housewives of Late Night had them renovating the backstage area.Butt Weight had two audience members competing to pull heavy stuff with their butts.Ian McKellen talks about preparing for the Hobbit movie and his new movie.Jimmy showed a clip of him on SNL where Ian was playing a woman and they kissed.Paula Patton talks about her career and Precious.Yoko Ono and Sean Lennon perform.
Ferguson: Craig says they pay actors $400 to appear on the show because of union rules, I never knew that.Denis Leary talks with Craig about drinking and their books.Jena Malone talks about the fight training she has been doing for her new movie.
Last Call: From a record store.Newt Gingrich.Deaf motocross racer Ashley Fiolek.Matisyahu performs.
Daily Show: The results from the elections are in and politicians and news networks try to spin them in all sorts of ways.Debate over gay marriage in Maine.Al Gore. Jon checks in with Stephen who says Jon didn't ask Al Gore the tough questions then Al Gore shows up on Stephen's set.
Letterman: Sneezing monkey.Fat governor Chris Christie will be the new source of comedy in New Jersey since “that gay governor.”More fun than reading the Palin memoir: getting impaled by a pipe.Dave talks about reuniting the dog they had found with its rightful owner.Health care bill includes coverage for people who hurt themselves lifting the huge health care bill.Writer Joe Grossman stands behind Dave asking if they got the game on and has a sweater for the dog.Top 10 questions to ask yourself before paying $24,900 for a World Series ticket.Bill Cosby does standup, or in his case, sitdown.Then he talks including getting mad at Dave for watching the baseball game then a cameraman going over to show it on the tv in his desk, taking out a birdcage with clay in it and showing an old clip of him climbing a ladder to go up into the studio’s balcony then dancing up there.Alan Kalter has an imaginary bug friend with whom he sings about swine flu then finds out there is no bug edited in, gets mad and storms out.Ryan Bingham performs.
Conan: The spaceship in V projects Conan saying hey everybody.Conan was sent beer for saying it tastes like ass so he says a bunch of expensive things also taste like ass.William Shatner reads Levi Johnston’s tweets.Fishermen from Maine talk about gay marriage saying its not necessary but then drop subtle hints that they are gay.Amy Poehler and Conan talk about making the move to LA, getting her start on Conan’s old show and her fear of the swine flu.Magic Johnson live in studio and Larry Byrd via satellite talk about their old rivalry.The Bravery performs.
Fallon: Jimmy talks about his night at the Mayor Bloomberg party.Obama facial expressions with funny captions turns into him talking about dunkaroos, push pops and other old snack foods.Cameron Diaz talks about a wide variety of topics.Then Jimmy and Cameron play charades with two audience members.One of them, Moujan, I actually recognized as being an on-air personality for a Revision 3 show.Maybe she works on the show now and they really aren’t audience members.Shaun White talks about dressing as Wendy from Wendys for Halloween and about his new video game.Then he and Jimmy play it.Monsters of Folk performs.
Ferguson: Dear Aquaman with Tim Gunn.Mo'Nique.Stephen Fry.
Last Call: From UCLA’s athletic hall of fame.Julie Benz.Skier Ted Ligety.Comic Aron Kader talks then does standup.
