Letterman: A guy with long hair around bees is supposed to be Obama, what? Dick Cheney as Scrooge. Ghandi movie in 3D has his moustache pop off the screen. Dave tells a story about placing a smoke bomb in school when he was young. The crooked NBA ref is out of prison and returned to a game where one team beat the opposing team by a lot of points. Mariah Carey talks about filming Precious and her husband Nick Cannon. Dave has his old yearbook out to show a picture of the teacher who disciplined him for his stunt and then shows a picture of himself. Comic Kumail Nanjiani does standup. Then Dave has that teacher on the phone and talks to him about it. Mariah Carey performs.
Conan: Mic problems, crickets and laughter edited into George Bush’s first post presidency speech. Conan brings out the world’s tallest dog, but then brings out the tall dachshund that they used to have on the old show which is a normal dachshund in fake tall legs. What’s In and What’s Out had porkpie hats and actual pork and pie in a hat, a Shaq blackberry that makes grunts when you dial, Ed Hardy shirts and Ed Harris shirts, Brett Favre and an old guy doing extreme bike riding, and V-neck sweaters and V-neck pants with the guy’s crotch showing. Reese Witherspoon. Gaboury Sidibe talks about Precious and tells Conan her friend has a crush on him. Kris Allen performs.
Fallon: Don Pardo is sitting with Higgins. Don says an audience member’s name. Jimmy’s weekly thank you letters. An audience member does an obstacle course filled with bad luck objectives. Amanda Peet. Host of Tough Love, Steven Ward. Kid Sister performs.
Last Call: From a firehouse. Emmy Rossum. Photographer Zach Hymen talks about how he photographs nudity in public places. Crocodiles perform.
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