Monday August 31st Late Night Talk Show Recap

Letterman: Liberty wearing a swine flu mask. The show invites Momar Kadafi to stay at the show, sleeping on the marquee and being a musical guest. Dick Cheney says “I’m a junkie.” Dave again talks quickly about being banned from the island where Obama and Oprah would be, then about parties his wife had to go to and then another story about a kid thinking Dave was his son’s grandfather. A dog dives into a pool outside as part of a competition. Top 10 ways to irritate Dick Cheney. Another diving dog. Howie Mandel talks about fist bumping and his OCD. Another diving dog jumps really far. They show Howie backstage eating chips since he was talking about that. Dave says they ran out of time for Rumer Willis. Dirty Projectors performs.

Conan: Conan steals a move from Jimmy Fallon by giving an audience member a cue card joke! But it was because the guy liked the joke a lot, not because it was bad. Disney Marvel characters: the Incredible Duck, Gooferine, Thingerella. Conan’s words spliced together to say he force feeds his children dozens of twinkies everyday for a Twinkie ad. A bust of Andy Richter to go outside made of a bag of soup and a dirty mop. Puppies dressed as cats returns. Conan announces the winner of the blow up my car contest. Norm McDonald reads purposely long bad jokes from a newspaper. Then he tells another long joke that purposely isn’t funny and shows a clip of him in Ice Road Toll Booth. Thomas Haden Church tries to talk about and show pictures of his ranch but Norm interrupts him and he starts to get pissed at him. Pitbull performs.

Fallon: Jimmy talks about his vacation. Jimmy and Higgins train to be ball boys at the US Open stadium and act childish. Freestylin with The Roots. Rachel Maddow talks then makes some cocktails with Jimmy. Tommy Davidson talks then sings doing a Sammy Davis Jr impression. Jet performs.

Ferguson: The show is finally in HD! Craig opens with the Craig puppet then talks about the HD upgrade, new logo and how they got two new lights. He says Conan and Jimmy are going to be so upset about that. The show has an awesome new opening which has Craig singing the theme song in various spots around the city including rolling around in a fountain. Craig does the monologue checking if the usual pictures they use still work. The bondage boy holds up a sign for a Diner contest the show will be holding since they haven’t got graphics ready for HD yet. Craig talks more about the diner contest and returning from vacation. Craig reads emails. Emily Deschannel’s light goes out so Craig comes to sit next to her. Terry Crews talks about renewing his vows and his new movie.