Daily Show: Soldiers pulled out of Iraqi cities so Iraqis celebrate and Cheney complains.The RIPpy Awards: the most ridiculous and stupidly obvious in death coverage.The guest talks about people who escape North Korea. Moment of Zen: Michael Jackson's father wants to talk about some new business project during a recent interview, what a shame.
Kimmel: Jimmy talks to a fake Obama, not very funny.Ty Pennington and David Sedaris.Jonas Brothers perform from London.
Alexa Chung: Sean William Scott is asked stupid questions and then given stupid Truth or Dare tasks. He's dared to show his coinslot and he thinks it means testicles. I'm pretty sure it means the top of the butt crack doesn't it? John Leguizamo comes into the set unexpected since he wasn't booked, then yells at Alexa including a uncensored fuck that gets by the censors. Drake.
Daily Show: Gov. Sanford, a Christian, uses the story of David from Jon’s jewish book.Military coup in Honduras.CIA is recruiting investment bankers so they can screw up other countries.The job includes written analysis aka Roger Moore in The Spy Who Sat There.Jon Oliver reports on Madoff’s sentencing and says he owes people handjobs in jail that he cannot repay.The guest talks about music and the brain.
Kimmel: Paris Hilton talks about her latest projects, a day in her business life, compares “that’s hot” to “that’s huge” then plays a game with Jimmy about it and talks about living in a hotel when she was young.Then she talks about her show, how the ones she picked were “hungry tigers” and doing another show in Dubai.Ken Jeong talks about being naked in The Hangover and talks about his kids.
After last night's great shows, it looks like they decided to phone in the last day before vacation. So there is a 2 week break for all the broadcast late night shows, but I'll still be updating the blog with Daily Show recaps for the first week and maybe some Colbert recaps. Also most likely recaps of the repeated Jimmy Kimmel shows. Along with the usual daytime recaps for whomever is airing new episodes. So keep checking the blog!
Real time: Cameron Diaz talks about her career, acting, her new movie about cancer and relationships plus marriage.Mega Sensible Car Rally has smartcar, hybrids and segways in a car rally.Oliver Stone talks about his movies and the new Wall Street.New Rules: Rap stars needed to stop wearing bling, especially one of your own face.North Korea’s missile isn’t intercontinental.Oral sex is not the new handshake.Obama and Biden are not always on the same page.Air Sex has to end.Billy Bob Thorthon talks about his album.
Conan: Political attack ad says Gov. Sanford should have slept American.Appalachian Trail ad for it being a good place for adulterous affairs.Larry King transforms into a scooter.Nick Jonas talks before senate about diabetes and they all have dirty thoughts about him including Senator Lieberman who wants to kiss him.The Universal set has a man in a King Kong costume attacking a cardboard building.A message from all on TV: a bunch of short clips from different news shows and people on TV pieced together saying that they don’t understand why the governors can’t keep their, bunch of funny words for penis, in their pants.In the Year 3000: Lady Gaga+Gogo Dolls= Gaga Gogo the children’s band.I’m a celebrity, get me out of Paris Hilton.Snoop Dogg talks about Michael Jackson, then about his business ventures, shows Conan an Iphone app that says funny Snoop phrases, gives Conan the nickname Coco Loc and has his Laker car in the studio.Jerry Ferrera talks about Obama watching Entourage, losing weight and guests on the show.Adele performs.
Letterman: A monkey answers the 911 phone call about the monkey with the knife.God says it’s going to keep raining until they take Jon and Kate off US Weekly covers.A flood in Times Square has a hot dog vendor and his kart floating away.Dave reads the Top 10 list items without saying the title of it, it’s just a bunch of fat jokes and its Top 10 signs you are too fat.Martin Short does his usual crazy jokes.Then he sings a song about hiking with a woman and both stripping down naked to search for ticks, then sleeping together.True Tales from the Old West.Regina Specktor performs.
Fallon: The Roots are dressed up in Michael Jackson gear and play his songs throughout the show.Also, Erykah Badu joins them.Celebrity and company fireworks displays: Gone Cheating for the Gov, duds for GM, firework keeps going up for Hugh Hephner, Jon of Jon and Kate’s firework stays on only, Sammy Sosa’s has a needle.Mark Sanford Karaoke where audience members sing songs with lyrics from his emails to his mistress.This was awful with Rush and still bad.Cameron Diaz talks about Michael Jackson and her new movie.Then they talk dramatic to each other.The world record guys are back from the other show.Quest put the most combs into his afro.Cameron lays in a hammock with 48 bunnies.A guy has the fastest robotic cupcake icer but it screws up.Jimmy draws the most moustaches on people.Grizzly Bear performs.
Ferguson: Craig does a movie trailer as an old lady featuring him also as Michael Caine, Sean Connery, Colonel Blinky and Susan Boyle.Dear Aquaman.Lisa Kudrow, author James Frey and Chairlift sings that Apple commercial with the handstands lyric.
Last Call: From a bar. Tom Green touches things and walks around the set. He talks about his web show and what's happening. Carson gives us an update on the bball player they talked to a few weeks ago, Brandon Jennings, and how he was picked #10 in the NBA draft. Why thank you for that Carson. Pete Wentz. Lex Land performs.
Big night in late night tonight, a lot of great guests. This is one to read.
Daily Show: Jon says there are two 18 year olds in the audience who found out on the show they are going to the same college and Jon “wants them to fuck.”Haha wow.Obama said he will let the people know more of the White House’s secrets yet they are doing just the opposite. Obama stopped Cheney tapes from coming out in fear of Jon Stewart making fun of them. Jason Jones final report from Iran has him teaching Iranian kids football and talking to an Iranian rapper and doing his own Iran rap.Cameron Diaz had a snicker bar and now she’s on a sugar high.She talks about how sad her new movie is.
Conan: Conan visits a Science and Engineering student convention and makes fun of all the poor kids.Max is leaving for 4 weeks to tour in Europe with Bruce Springsteen so Max’s entire podium with drums drives out of the studio and outside.Max continues to drive the platform and drums throughout the city.Max stops at an intersection, pulls up to a drive through, gets pulled over by the cops and then carried onto the airplane.Bruno says some crazy gay things and talks about his arrest at a fashion show.Then he says he hates Paris Hilton, talks about adopting an African baby and finally dances super sexual for and on Conan, it was hilarious.Stephen Moyer talks about working on True Blood, having no tan for it and accents.Performance group Zumanity has a woman performing a striptease routine mostly on a stripper pole.
Letterman: Governor Sanford Conference Recap: he doesn’t know what he’s about to say, a lot of ums.Terrell Owens reaction to Gov. Sanford is the crying clip of him.Top 10 Surprising facts about Gov. Sanford.Johnny Depp talks about his kids, acting, relaxing and life on his own island.Then he talks about his boat, says he likes old movies and actors and discusses the character in his new movie.Megan Fox talks about dropping out of school, being younger and her tattoo.She says she has had three crushes in her life: Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien and David Letterman.Wow, awesome.Then she says she’s a hermit and talks about her old engagement.Dave pulls the old fake clip gag on her with a clip of a small robot chasing a girl that looked similar to her.
Fallon: The show starts off with a header that says the show was taped at 5:30 est, I wonder what he says about Michael Jackson.Jimmy slowjams the news about healthcare.Real animals, fake arms: ducks smoke with fake arms.Jimmy does a bunch of one liners for a clip of Transformers where the robot appears, this was awful.Jimmy shows a clip of his Wii match with Tiger Woods in Times Square.Tiger talks about the US Open and the new Wii game.He and Jimmy play the Wii game and they both suck at it.Wow, if a motion device is supposed to give you more control over the game then shouldn’t a pro golfer do great at the game?No, because the Wii sucks.Evan Rachel Wood talks about working with Woody Allen and Larry David, the movie and working on True Blood.Dinosaur Jr. performs.So there was no mention of Michael Jackson in the show so why bother with the header?It’s a comedy show, why must they feel like they had been obligated to talk about the death?Sure he’s an icon, but big deal they didn’t mention it or that they made people laugh instead of spending a whole hour of a comedy show mourning him.That header was stupid.
Ferguson: Craig has the entire audience up on the stage, amazing.Dear Aquaman.Larry David doesn’t seem to like Craig very much since he asks him a bunch of weird questions.But he still laughed at a lot of his jokes.Craig cooks catfish with Wolfgang Puck, ah so that’s why he asked Larry about catfish.
Last Call: From a golf driving range.Zachary Levi and Joel David Moore talk about their trip to visit the soldiers in Iraq.They show a clip of their trip which also had Christian Slater and KalPenn.Zach didn’t mention Chuck at all, but Carson did say it would be coming back to NBC this FALL.But that probably means nothing since it’s just Carson.Rally car driver Ken Block.Bat for Lashes performs.
Regis: Joanna Philbin hosts and talks about not telling Regis much and her new dog. Shia LaBeof talks about his embarrassing parents, being the hottest bachelor, working with Megan Fox and Transformers.
View: Larry David and Evan Rachael Wood talk mostly about the movie, each other and Woody Allen.
Alexa Chung: Leighton Meester talks about her fashion, Gossip Girl, a clip from her really young on Law and Order and her music career. The band she is working with, Cobra Starship, comes out. They show off a preview of their music video featuring Leighton, this has become TRL now eh? I guess discussion of the sex tape was off the table, oh well, not a surprise. Then some other crap happened on the show.
Daily Show: That governor was having an affair and Obama tells people to stop criticizing his response to Iran.Jon is about to go to Iran coverage but a little Kim Jong Il wants his attention because he is planning to launch a missile into Hawaii if America intervenes.Jon talks to the Lil Kim trying to talk him down.The guest talks about the Iran issue.
Conan: Gov. Arnold acting wild in Rio.Conan shreds a cue card with a bad joke.Conan’s Tabloid Moment: Conan and the wax Tom Cruise put a bodybag of the Fonzie wax figure into a car.They had to cut one animal from the show tonight so they show a Zebra tied up outside looking sad.12 foot high door in the studio draws 12 foot high Jehovah’s Witnesses.Andy tries a seat that has a hole for his crotch.Brandon McMillan with animals including a young bear, young tiger, a big snake whose tail wraps under Conan’s crotch.Then he has a young timberwolf, vulture and an elephant.Kerry Washington talks about visiting the White House and her new movie, then does a female walk with Conan.Wilco performs.Conan brings the zebra out at the end of the show, aw.
Letterman: The Statue of Libery wears a flannel shirt and hiking boots.People are relieved George Bush has been missing for 5 months.Bernie Madoff wants you to send him money for an explanation of why he wants a shorter sentence.Dave talks about the South Carolina governor.Dave talks about a couple from a city called Eighty Four and shows it’s real.The governor takes his time to start to talking.The neighbor in the in-studio apt has a date and wants Dave to quiet down.Top 10 Governor excuses.Ray Ramano takes up 3 segments and I didn’t watch any of them, sorry don’t care about him.I did catch him talk about watching the Worldwide Pants logo at the end of the show and betting with his kids on what random phrase the voice was going to say each night. He records three voices for it and wants the show to pick one for tonight’s.St Vincent performs. The ending logo phrase is Don't Panic Pablo.
Fallon: Cut sketches: Jimmy sells beans to a lobster.Jimmy is the guy who stains things drops strawberries on Hitler.Jimmy reads a funny letter.Colgy the toothpaste bottle shoots Jimmy.Then Colgy comes into the studio and the lobster shoots him.These were all awful.Jimmy shows pictures on his Iphone from his wedding on Richard Branson’s island.Richard talks about his island, Virgin Galactic, his book and a free concert he’s having.He gives Jimmy a guitar.Dwight Howard talks about bball and sees his NBA Live cover.Him and Jimmy play arcade mini bball and Jimmy wins.Astrophysicist Neil De Grasse Tyson talks about space and his new show.The Roots perform.
Ferguson: Mary Steenburgen.Betty LaVette performs.Comic Toddy Sawyer does standup.
Last Call: The show starts off with the intro used for an early episode of the show that was announced by Ed McMahon and took place in Johnny Carson’s studio.Carson is at that studio.The first interview is a clip with Ed from of that episode from May 2002.Director Nick Jasenovec talks about his new movie.Ida Maria performs.
Daily Show: The governor of South Carolina went missing and Wyatt Cenac reports from the woods on reasons why. Jason Jones goes "Jihad Walking" in Iran and Times Square asking each one about the other country and Iran knows alot while Americans know nothing. One young Iranian watches the Daily Show and does a hilarious impression of Jon doing Bush. Larry David talks about his wardrobe. Moment of Zen: Ed McMahon on an old episode correcting Jon on his Publisher's Clearing House mistake then calling him Craig as in Craig Kilborn the original host.
Conan: Sports commentary for Obama signing a paper with multiple pens.Conan wanted a sign outside the studio so he puts the same loose flying around one he used in NYC and also a big pooh bear with Andy’s face on it.Conan talks about Ed McMahon’s passing and shows a package with clips of him from the Tonight Show.Then Conan shows a clip from his old Late Night show where Johnny and Andy play quarters and Johnny says to Conan “If I don’t see you again, have a good life.”Conan talks about Ed’s ability to talk at just the right moments and Andy keeps interrupting him and talk at the wrong moments.TMZ Wild spies on animals and asks them questions.Lisa Kudrow talks about traveling to Russia for her new NBC show and her new web show.Pitchmen Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan talk about what they do and then show off some products including Billy’s shamwow the Zorbees and trashtalks the shamwow.Elvis Costello performs.
Letterman: In the fall, Jon and Kate Plus 8 Minus John Plus Divorce Lawyer and Bodyguard.Summer Toys including cool robots that start moving once powered by the sun and a big rocket launching into the ceiling that spewed water all over Dave.Dave talks a bit about how great Ed McMahon was.Top 10 things the US Open champ would like to say presented by US Open winner Lucas Glover.Sandra Day O’Connor talks about growing up on a ranch and being on the Supreme Court.MSTRKRFT performs with John Legend.
Fallon: Jimmy talks about Ed McMahon and shows some pictures.Celebrities video games: Kobe 5 on 1, Jon Gosselin’s Escape from Family Hell, Clay Aiken’s Call of Booty, Super Jonas Bros, Larry King’s Left 4 Dead.The Head Swap song yet again gets interrupted by a dead body in the graphics dept which Jimmy continues to sing about.Abigail Breslin talks about her new movie.She then shows him a video she did with a friend for the Late Night Jimmy Fallon Dance Challenge and teaches Jimmy the dance.James Purefoy talks about The Philantropist.Bball player Blake Griffin and Jimmy have a dunk challenge where Jimmy does the businessman carrying a suitcase.Iggy Pop and the BPA performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks to fake Gov. Arnold S.Jim Parsons' light was out so he sits in the second seat and Craig takes the first.
Last Call: From Seattle, Washington and a fish market there.DJ Jason Bentley.No Name takes Carson on a tour of the city including a music museum and record label.Crocodiles from Sandiego perform.
Regis: Kara Dioguardi co-hosts and talks about her engagement. Regis mentions what Dave said about him last night and the lady who is in the audience once again gets some TV time. US Open winner. Nick Cannon talks about Mariah Carey and AGT. Ashanti performs.
Daily Show: News networks think Obama isn’t doing enough and Iran thinks we are causing the problem. Britain becomes Iran’s new #1 enemy.Jon high fives everyone but not Jon Oliver.“Senior Foreign Looking Correspondent” Aasif Mandvi says the west is protesting.Jason Jones report from Iraq includes him interviewing three protesters who were detained and made out to be evil in Iran but aren’t.Then in studio the son of one of them talks to Jon about his father’s arrest.Basketball coach Bill Russell talks about his new book and past experiences.
Conan: Jon and Kate Plus 5 has 3 kids being left on the curb.Conan visits the neighbors including signing a huge headshot portrait for a store, talking to someone on the phone as Jay, visiting a miniatures game store and a tattoo parlor where he actually gets a tattoo of a heart.Traffic Jam miniatures outside.Conan brings out the world’s largest shamwow and inside the box is the largest mugshot picture of the shamwow guy.Cameron Diaz talks about California, getting a Hollywood walk of fame star and her new movie.Mountain climber Johnny Strange talks about his experience.Someone performs and after it Cameron Diaz bounces so much running to him that her skirt lifts up revealing a good portion of her ass.
Letterman: Can’t hear Jon and Kate’s announcement over the crying.Thunder creates a golf hole.Dave gives restaurant certificates to a lady for asking about Regis and says he saw a bison being born over the weekend.Andy Kindler interviews recent college graduates about how they cannot find a job and watches one of the film student’s films.Top 10 signs Mayor Bloomberg has gone nuts.Samuel L. Jackson talks about golf and gives us more exciting (not) info on Ryan Reynold’s bees.Cooking with Emeril Lagasse and Dave brings up the Regis lady.Iggy Pop performs.
Fallon: There was a really obvious edit in the monologue here, I wonder how bad the joke was.Jimmy talks about ripping a hole in his pants in a comedy show over the weekend and has them as proof.7th floor west: Miles brings quesadillas to the party and Jimmy is mad.Freestyln with The Roots had the guitarist singing one song.A guy brings a speaker out that John Leguizamo is doing voice over from and he says he’s decided to quit acting and just do voices.Jimmy then goes up to the booth on the side of the audience and John is in there in a robe and his underwear.He sits down and talks about Ice Age and some other work he’s doing.Nick Cannon and Jimmy do Bill Cosby interviewing Bill Cosby.He talks about weddings and Americas Got Talent.Sonic Youth performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks about how popular his mug has became at the museum store.Then about advertisers and DVR.Marion Cotillard says fuck us, instead of focus.Columinist Michael Musto talks about gossip.
Real Time: AMA is a mess.Bill shows a video of a republican rap group then makes up lyrics for them.Megan McCain made for a good guest.New Rules: America isn’t meddling in Iran election, we screwed with one and got Bush.New Miss California is against gay marriage but we shouldn’t be shocked she’s conservative since liberals go to college.Twitter didn’t save Iran, Iran saved Twitter and Twitter users used to think iRan was the new treadmill from Apple.World Texting champion as bad parents and got a text from Arod.Olive Garden pulls ads from Letterman so Bill wants to somehow boycott a restaurant he would never eat at.People have to stop sucking up to Obama and Bill says he isn’t siding with the Republicans.He talks about how both parties have problems and wants one that is better.
Conan: A video clip of a bunch of TV hosts and guests putting together words that make congratulations to Conan and keep your daughters away from Max Weinberg.Since Oprah is taking her staff on a cruise, Conan takes Pierre Bernard to get a turkey sandwhich then leaves quick.NBC News put good looking interns in the background of their newscast prentending to be reporters so Andy is replaced by a good looking guy and his voice and the guy’s mouth sync up.Conan thanks his father for Father’s Day and then his father rebuts it in a video clip saying it’s fake and he likes his brother better.Triump the Insult Comic Dog from Bonnarroo makes fun of the hippies, talks to the Beastie Boys and helps a hot girl find her tent which has a naked Max Weinberg in it.At the Springsteen concert Bruce goes over to Triumph in the audience and sings with him.Shia LaBeof talks about traveling around promoting Transformers, big explosions on it and adjusting to being a star.Phil Jackson.Holly Williams performs.
Letterman: Digital Converter for Telegraphs.Lawn chairs in Times Square are so successful that there will be dog parks on the bridge, pools in the subway and a long Outback steakhouse in the tunnel.A fake Mayor Bloomberg calls to talk about Times Square and says they can now store they excess chairs.Late Show Fun Facts.Top 10 things you don’t want to hear from your kids on fathers day.Jada Pinkett Smith.Alan Kalter eats chlorine.Michael Cera tells some stories and talks about the costumes in Year One.The Sounds perform.
Fallon: Obama facial expressions including him rambling on about D2 The Mighty Ducks.Who Cares Hindenberg: Miley and Nick hanging out, TR Knight leaving Grey’s, Pete Wentz celebrated his 30th birthday.I think there has been a Pete Wentz or Ashlee Simpson joke in everyone of these hasn’t there?Jeff Goldblum from a set in the audience supports an audience member for audience president.Jeff talks about his projects, then Jimmy shows him the drunk Goldblum video and makes one from him on the show.Comic Mike Birbiglia talks about telling bad jokes at the Baseball MVP ceremony.Director Tamra Davis cooks.
Ferguson: Craig says this is the 900th episode.Rather Late Show with Prince Charles.Bryan Cranston and someone performs.
Last Call: Carson is on a San Fransisco cable car.He shills the Samsung Jack by showing pics he took with it including one of a Jack ad.Kathy Griffin.No Name radio host takes Crason on a tour around SF and he takes more pics.Peaches performs.
Daily Show: House Republicans compare themselves to the Iranians protesting.Wyatt fake webchats with Jon from Iran.Larry Wilmore talks about Black and Jew relations.Mike Huckabee debates with Jon over abortion.
Conan: Guy in court continues to call a senator different names after she tells him to call her senator and not mamn.Conan accuses Max of being the guy who dressed up as his dead mother.The show has a budget surplus so Conan asks if they should spend it on health insurance for Jordan Schlansky!! or the USC marching band to play heartbreaker.The audience picks the band.Then the band to play Frankstein or weaker insurance for Jordan, still the band and since it’s over budget, Jordan has to pay.Twitter Tracker: birds at a concert, burnt into popcorn, skeet shot and put through a coldcut cutter.Eva Mendes tells Conan to go to a massage parlor and shooting a sexy ad.Christopher Mintz Plasse talks meeting a 25 year old woman in Europe and adjusting to stardom.Some rock band performs.
Letterman: The same exact Jon and Kate Plus 225 with the Gitmo detaines that they used a few nights ago.Pepsi Sunblock.Video of Hillary Clinton breaking her arm is the same one they used for Sontomayor with the woman being pulled into water.White guy comes out as an Iranian candidate and makes stupid promises.Top 10 signs your caddy is nuts: #1 carries your clubs in his pants.Danny Devito.Bear Grylls talks about his new son and Will Ferrel on Man vs Wild.Pheonix performs.
Fallon: Iphone Apps: Paul Reiser Tetris, Jeff Probst table manners translator, Wet Cement, Future Glimpse, Resier Head Spin.Rush Limbaugh Karaoke: audience members sing lyrics that Rush has said, really stupid segment.I don’t like these bits that rely a lot on the audience members doing their own thing.Ryan Reynolds talks about Canada and The Proposal.Then he plays shuffleboard with Jimmy and wins.Lauren Conrad talks about leaving The Hills and her book.Jimmy says he actually won shuffleboard since Ryan’s pucks were all touching lines.The Fray performs.
Ferguson: Michael Caine in Spain.Sandra Bullock makes fun of Craig’s accent, someone performs and comic David Feldman.
Last Call: From a car museum.John Scurti, Brushfire Records founder Emmet Malloy shows off their green studio and Zee Avi performs.
Regis: Joy Philbin co-hosts. Ryan Reynolds talks about knowing Sandra Bullock for a long time and the movie. For a cool guy he's a pretty boring guest.
View: Anne Hatheway talks about her in the park play and kissing a girl in it. She is going to play Judy Garland in a biopic. Joy thought Jake Gyllenhaal was the crazy guy on Letterman aka Joaquim Pheonix.
Daily Show: Obama has Mr. Miyagi like reflexes slapping a fly on his hand.Jon freaks out at a fly while with Dan Rather. The Iranian soccer team was in support of the protests, but they don't win. Jason Jones first report from Iran has him talking to a journalist, trying to get people to say they hate America, but they like it and visiting an Iranian family that including dancing to piano playing, video games and a birthday cake. Obama wants to fix healthcare and people have problems with it. The guest wrote a book about butterflies.
Conan: Video of Obama using his tongue to get the fly. Fonzie and Tom statues are at the Lakers parade.Conan brings a huge gold statue into the studio for Kobe. Movie about Iran protests: Mahmoud will be played by Ringo Starr. Kobe talks about the game, the celebs not bothering him and then gives Conan shoes.William Shatner tells some stories and can’t do the Vulcan hand signal.Incubus performs.
Letterman: A big fly takes Obama away after he swats that one.NY now has the most aggressive drivers so there is movie footage of crazy driving and big wrecks.Biff Henderson’s Cavalcade of Hilarious Hidden Camera Pranks has Biff doing stupid pranks in the city like putting hats on people and stopping revolving doors, but he has problems saying the name.Ryan Reynolds talks about getting into the business, marrying Scarlet, getting bees and The Proposal.Top Chef’s Padma Lakshmi talks about Top Chef and her scar that came from a car accident.The Eels perform.
Fallon: They actually insert Obama and the fly into a scene with Mr. Miyagi.Lickin it for 10: wind chime, piano and guitar.The guitar licker had to lick it while Jimmy was holding it, of course near his crotch.Al Roker talks about his latest controversies like Speidi and taking pictures of a jury.Him and Jimmy do the weather together where they get a bunch of rain, snow and dirt thrown at them.Wine expert Gary Vaynerchuk tastes some wine with Jimmy.Edgadget’s Joshua Topolsky talks about the Iphone 3GS.Street Sweeper Social Club performs.
Ferguson: Aquaman answers an email and brings in Aqualad.Julia Ormond. Astronomer Derrick Pitts talks about his job, space, ufos and NASA.
Last Call: Carson is in Kathy Griffin’s house… because he interviewed her, ah.Then he’s also in actor Jeremy Renner’s house who talks about filming his war movie.Bball player Brandon Jennings talks about going to Italy to play after high school.The Ting Tings perform.
Daily Show: CNN reports unverified material about the Iran protests through facebook and twitter.Gitmo detainees sent to Bermuda.Elmo as Gitmo talks about his life there. The news networks blame each other for the Holocaust Museum shooter. The guest talks about a mob guy.
Conan: Joe Biden tells boring stories at a school and people fall asleep.Wax Fonzie is in an actual bathroom now and Tom Cruise peeks out of the stall to watch him along with human hands.Audiencee awards with a lot of lookalikes including Shaggy, guy sitting in the parking lot and Tom Cruise peeping on someone.Larry David talks about his divorce, how he would have sex with an anti-semite, orgasms and wanting to get fired from his movie.Lauren Conrad tells a story of a lady throwing a baby at her, wow.Gavin Rossdale performs.
Letterman: Dave talks about the protest group outside then goes to the camera and it shows the LA Lakers fan riot.Milestones in TV history: the development of moustache vision.Joe Grossman walks into the set with a Fire Letterman sign.Top 10 things overheard in the Letterman protests: #1 Thanks for coming Regis.Lyle the Intern stops by!He makes some more fun of Dave.Michelle Phiffer.Judah Friedlander talks about his hats and being the World Champion then bringing it all over to 30 Rock.Some old guy performs.
Fallon: Airdrumming challenge with audience members.Horatio Sanz hosts a Spanish talk show where Jimmy isn’t the father.Horatio sings the cotton song a bit, talks about laughing on SNL, Year One and his rejected art of a clown being burnt on a cross.Jimmy shows their worst SNL sketch of them as aquarium workers and they couldn’t even get a full line out because of their laughter.Selena Gomez talks about being a Disney star and her movie.Jimmy says he wants to see the movie, creepy haha.She asks him the type of questions she gets asked including first kiss then Horatio says she kissed the girl first and she was his third.Then she shows off her ability to spit gum into the air and catch it over and over.Jimmy and Horatio fail at it.Hank Williams Jr performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks about demographics and how old people don’t matter.He says they are welcome to watch their show.Jeff Foxworthy and Gavin DeGraw performs.
Last Call: From a donut shop.Deadliest Catch’s Sig Hansen.Surfer Derek Dunfee.Diane Birch performs.
Regis: Molly Shannon co-hosts and talks about moving from NYC to LA. Very little talk about SNL, only her cheerleader character. Kobe calls into the show. Selena Gomez talks about getting into the business and her new movie.
To preface, about every single show made a joke comparing the riots in LA over the Lakers to the ones in Iran over the election. One is an actual important issue, while another are morons rioting because their team WON. Wow really LA? Really?
Daily Show: Iran’s chaos over the election.Jason Jones in Iran.John Oliver uses a map to show the voting.Sam Bee does a piece where Long Island wants to become a state so she makes fun of it and interviews dumb muscle guys.Ed Helms had Bradley Cooper’s suit jacket and Jon asked what they were doing for that to happen.John shows clips of Ed’s most embarrassing Daily Show moments. Jon checks in with Stephen and congratulates him on his trip.
Conan: Miniature roadway bit: a Clippers bus gets rid of mobbing Lakers fans.Conan visits a wax figure auction house and makes fun of how bad they are.He buys the Fonzie who looks like he’s finishing up at the urinal then brings him into the studio with a urinal while a creepy Tom Cruise watches him from the balcony.Character in the audience says he has the worst seat in the studio.Parts of Conan’s studio is sponsored by different companies including La Bamba’s moustache.Will Arnett talks about doing voiceover work then does an announcer voice for Conan’s show.Then he professes his love for Law and Order then air guitars the theme.Joe Torre talks baseball.Spinal Tap performs then talks to Conan for a bit.
Letterman: Iranian voting machine: Angry bearded guy, other angry bearded guy or play Ms. Pac-Man.5 seconds to file an election complaint.Dave once again apologizes for the Palin joke saying it was a nasty joke, but he made a mistake about the daughter.Top 10 messages left on Mahmoud’s answering machine.Jack Black talks about bringing back his band and sings a little bit.Then he talks about his kids and Year One.The Late Show Staff talks about Who raising the swine flu threat level. Dr. M.A. Sanjayan talks about saving the environment.
Fallon: Jimmy talks about his weekend at Bonnaroo.7th Floor West: The Pizza Party, WhitneyPort from The Hills shows up and Jimmy sees Miles.Audience members try to dance a hat and gloves off their body.Matthew Broderick and hockey player Sean Avery.Then Jimmy tries to shoot targets with Sean.Heidi and Spencer Pratt talk about the same crap they did on the three other shows they were on today.Holy shit I’ve watched these morons 4 times today.I mean I DVR’d The View because I thought that would be the only place I would see them, but they showed up on the premiere of Alexa Chung, Fallon and of course I had to watch the video of what the internet was buzzing about with Al Roker on Today.A country singer performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks about gay penguins. Someone in an email asked about the guy in S&M gear and Craig says he's not an intern, but a high level production guy. Holly Hunter tells Craig about massages. Some band performs.
The View: Heidi and Spencer Pratt talk about what happened on I'm a Celebrity. They won't answer any questions straight like if they were paid to return and if Heidi is doing Playboy, making it obvious both are true. They got paid extra to return to the show? Wow... Whoopi sets them straight saying if they don't get their act together they'll be on the street and their crap isn't cute anymore. You go girl! The girls tell them to get involved with some career.
With the death of the Mike and Juliet show, comes another talk show to take its place. They don't even give it a week with one less talk show on the air!
It's On! with Alexa Chung Premiere: I had no idea this was in the usual talk show format. The girl talks for a bit then sits down with a comedian from VH1 and dishes on the latest gossip. Alexa gives dating advice to clear up "it's complicated" facebook statuses. Heidi and Spencer Pratt appear, 30 freakin minutes after their appearance on The View, wow. They talk about the same crap. Jack Black and Michael Cera talk about their relationship, the movie and play some stupid game where they talk while their trailer is playing. Next was a female beatboxer who is pretty great and has been an "audience member" with a talent on Ellen before. Yeah I watch too many talkshows to notice that. An interview with Souljaboy then it ends with a performance by him. This girl has an annoying accent and has boring interviews, guess I'll just watch for someone I really really like.
Real time: Tugwow: shamwow comes with a noose. Bill talks about the Letterman and Palin controversy. Then at the end of his monologue he says Cher’s sex change daughter hopes to knock up Sarah Palin’s legal age daughter. Larry King is the guest. Chris Matthews is on the panel. Bill has a fake racist firefighter test. P.J. O’Rourke is the panel guest. New Rules: Michelle looked mad at Barack. Neo-Nazi is older than the original Nazis. Phil Spector’s real hair looks bad. Cher’s daughter wants to change her gender because of her mother. Cops shouldn’t be cops if they taser old women. Obama is on TV too much. Bill calls out Obama to make some more changes and be tougher.
Conan: George Bush Senior falls into a shark. Uses for an old analog TV: paperweight, birdhouse, thetherball. Scorsee and Dicaprio movie is Fart Party IX Boner’s Revenge. Paparazzi photo is Conan leaving Barbara Walters’ trailer with a beer helmet and her bras. Paris Hilton comes out and tells some jokes. A character from North Dakota steals peoples money so they have a good economy. The digital tv transition happens and Conan’s, Andy’s and Max’s moms all call. Jamie Foxx talks about grabbing Halle Berry’s butt and the Obamas. Kevin Nealon talks about driving and wills. Jamie Foxx performs.
Letterman: Apple iThing does nothing. Gitmo detainees going to Jon and Kate plus 245. Survivors of a Pelham 1,2,3 hostile train takeover will receive a complimentary metrocard. Top 10 questions asked to Congress after the digital transition. Sandra Bullock talks about being naked in the film, her husband Jesse James and her farm. Comic Pete Correale. PJ Harvey performs.
Fallon: Jimmy performs in his failed sitcoms: Everyone wears sweaters, Lesbian moms, Living on a skiboat. A bing.com gameshow where three audience members try to search something on bing.com the fastest. Then the winner wins in a bonus round and gets a laptop. He didn’t even get it right, the PC showed Matteson, IL not Chicago, IL like he wrote. Jarod Miller brings a baby kangaroo, baby bear and a big turtle. Then prairie dogs and an eagle. Mary J. Blige talks about her new perfume and then sings a song based on Jimmy’s day. Harold Ramis talks about Year One and Ghostbusters.
Ferguson: Dane Cook talks about his comic career. He was a lot better here just talking then telling jokes on Conan. Larry King of the Jungle. Peter Travers.
Last Call: Carson from a guitar store. Ed Helms talks about The Hangover and his past gigs. Stunt woman Tarah Paige. Greenday performs as their old band name, Foxboro Hot Tubs.
Colbert: Finally a George Bush message, I thought there wouldn’t be one.Stephen talks to an air fleet commander and then rides in a jet.A message from Senator Jim Webb.Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger.The guest is a sergeant.He orders the troops and makes them sing the army song.Stephen has his crew on the stage, thanking them and the troops.
Kimmel Game Night: Paula Abdul is teaching Jimmy how to be a Laker girl.Guillermo asks Kobe stupid questions.More of the Greek coach.Players on the Deadliest Catch boat.Jack Black is stuck in an elevator.Dwayne Wade comes out with Cousin Sal and shows a video of the two of them pranking a fan into making believe he was in a skiing accident to meet Wade.Michael Cera is now with Jack in the elevator.A Chinese food delivery man joins them.
Daily Show: Problems over in Europe. Mahmoud vs the other guy election in Iran. Jason Jones is there to report it. Jon has a dance party with fake legs. AIG uses the money to change their name to AIU and Obama is appointing a pay czar. Katie Couric is the guest and they compare their old to young demographics. Moment of Zen: a guy uses a Pac-man chart.
Conan: Conan, Andy and Max’s staged mugshots. Chris Meloni from SVU hosts a talkshow based on a murder. Conan goes guitar shopping from ads he found on Craigslist and finds one guy with a lot of junk and calls him a murderer. Norm McDonald talks about his failed career, friendship and some stories about Andy. Then he tells some jokes he has written over the years including about Winona Ryder. Norm shows a clip of Norm of Love where he makes fun of all the whore contestants, and Norm Plus One. Jim Gaffigan talks about food and some trips. Someone performs.
Letterman: Clip of someone falling off a rope bridge is supposed to be Sontomayor. Theft suspect portrait of Picasso book thief is drawn in Picasso style. Dave is in Pelham 1,2,3 as an old man too scared to do anything. Regis presents the Top 10 reasons he isn’t on the show tonight. Denzel Washington, when I went to the show last summer he was the guest. True Tales from the Old West. The Jonas Brothers perform.
Fallon: Local Market Promos: mostly all bad except the one where he was Bill Gates with some corny but funny plays on words. Hot Dog in a Hole with Chuck Norris, Arnold S. and Mr. T. Betty White talks about old stuff and filming her movie. Jimmy plays beer pong with Betty and finally wins. Opie and Anthony talk about being on so early.
Ferguson: Another lip synch open, this time to I’m Yours. This one wasn’t so good, Craig didn’t do much. Larry King talks about his book and Craig shows him the skits he does making fun of him. Anna Friel lives next to Lindsay Lohan and asks about Craig’s wife.
Last Call: Carson is in a music café. A Greenday performance in both the beginning and end. Jay Mohr and Greenday talking in between.
Colbert: Stephen starts the show from inside a spiderhole. Prime Minister of Iraq talks to Stephen. A message from Joe Biden. A video of Stephen in his studio being helped by Tom Hanks pack a USO care package. A message from Sarah Palin… The guest is another general. The show was pretty boring.
Kimmel Game Night: Magic throws a no look pass into Jimmy’s head. Guillermo asks the Lakers coach who is going to win. An ad with a player and a pigeon. Aunt Chippy plays blackjack and loses. Magic Johnson. More losing blackjack.
Daily Show: The show is sponsored by every other coffee besides Starbucks.Morning Joe says Jon has a Napoleon complex so Jon dresses as him backstage and rides a horse, including a short John Oliver.Jason Jones reports at the New York Times on the downfall of newspapers.He asks the executive, “what is black, white and read(red) all over?”The exec says newspapers.Jason says “no, your balance sheets.”People are afraid the gitmo terrorist can cause danger here.John Oliver reports from the supreme court and sees the terrorist so he runs away.The guest talks about an American Idol style show he produces in Iraq.
Conan: Italian guy talks about a Jeep in an ad.Subtitles on Mahmoud talking that say he wants to nuke to have some fun.David Hasselhoff eats the burger underwater in an ad.Andy tries bacon flavored Vodka.Donald Trump in a video pimps out Conan’s parking space.Conan learns stunt fight training from Steven Ho which includes taking fake punches and wire work being blasted through a window.Dane Cook has lost all his humor telling a bunch of long bad jokes.He does a promo with Conan where Dane is being choked by Conan and says I didn’t steal your butter.Rancid performs.
Letterman: No one on Fox Business Channel has the story.A latino woman as Sonia Sontomayer breaks her ankle riding a motorbike into something.He talks about the backlash on the jokes he made about Palin’s daughter.He says they are rough, but it is a joke.Stupid Human Tricks with a guy who makes fart noises sound like a chainsaw, a guy who sticks a fork into his nose then feeds pasta to his wife with it, and a guy who rolls his eyes down.Steve Nash talks a little then shows a video of him reporting from the NBA finals.Kathy Griffin.Sonic Youth performs.
Fallon: Target Demographic: Balds.Cell Phone Shootout.Jimmy called the phone I used to have feminine, damnit, but I guess he is somewhat right.John Krasinki.Stephen Moyer talks about teeth.Kudo Tsunoda shows off Project Natal with the Richochet demo and Burnout Paradise.They all wore red jumpsuits for some reason and then after the break they acted like they were the six million dollar man.Manchester Orchestra performs.
Ferguson: Tim Meadows reports from fake WashingtonDC.Chris Matthews.Someone performs.
Last Call: Carson is in a radio studio.Rob Huebel talks about sketch comedy.Captain Paul Watson from Whale Wars.Green Day performs.
