Daily Show: CNN reports unverified material about the
Conan: Joe Biden tells boring stories at a school and people fall asleep. Wax Fonzie is in an actual bathroom now and Tom Cruise peeks out of the stall to watch him along with human hands. Audiencee awards with a lot of lookalikes including Shaggy, guy sitting in the parking lot and Tom Cruise peeping on someone. Larry David talks about his divorce, how he would have sex with an anti-semite, orgasms and wanting to get fired from his movie. Lauren Conrad tells a story of a lady throwing a baby at her, wow. Gavin Rossdale performs.
Letterman: Dave talks about the protest group outside then goes to the camera and it shows the LA Lakers fan riot. Milestones in TV history: the development of moustache vision. Joe Grossman walks into the set with a Fire Letterman sign. Top 10 things overheard in the Letterman protests: #1 Thanks for coming Regis. Lyle the Intern stops by! He makes some more fun of Dave. Michelle Phiffer. Judah Friedlander talks about his hats and being the World Champion then bringing it all over to 30 Rock. Some old guy performs.
Fallon: Airdrumming challenge with audience members. Horatio Sanz hosts a Spanish talk show where Jimmy isn’t the father. Horatio sings the cotton song a bit, talks about laughing on SNL, Year One and his rejected art of a clown being burnt on a cross. Jimmy shows their worst SNL sketch of them as aquarium workers and they couldn’t even get a full line out because of their laughter. Selena Gomez talks about being a Disney star and her movie. Jimmy says he wants to see the movie, creepy haha. She asks him the type of questions she gets asked including first kiss then Horatio says she kissed the girl first and she was his third. Then she shows off her ability to spit gum into the air and catch it over and over. Jimmy and Horatio fail at it. Hank Williams Jr performs.
Last Call: From a donut shop. Deadliest Catch’s Sig Hansen. Surfer Derek Dunfee. Diane Birch performs.
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