Friday June 5th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Real Time: Ad for the national association for the advancement of white people. A terrorist would have to fit into American life and ends up working at AIG to destroy America. D.L. Hughley stops by, this guy would make a good host for a similar show don’t you think? Nah, it would probably be cancelled after a few months. New Rules: Can’t wear a white hood and robe while meeting the black president. And don’t give him bling either. You’re using too much bronzer if you’re bronzer than a bronze statue. Don’t talk while holding your dog’s shit bag. Octomom’s reality show should be I’m a Fetus get me out of here. Conservatives are mad that the Obama’s had sex after the play. Radicals need sex to relieve their pain. Bill compares it to the priest who chose his girlfriend over the church.

Conan: Traffic jam on the freeway made by toy cars. Ducks, a baby and a dog celebrating his bar mitzvah. Conan talks about his background resembling Mario’s and then transposes it onto their, plays the music and jumps along with it! Conan brings out all the kids the Late Night staffers have had, but they all have red hair and freckles like him. Celebrity Survey including Larry King meeting Velociraptors, Max Weinberg as a sex offender, and OJ going to double murder you for Old Timer’s Day. Ryan Seacrest talks about Simon Cowell, American Idol, high fiving a blind guy and being fat. Patton Oswald talks about his kids.

Letterman: Yankee’s Away Game tickets to stay in the stadium while the Yankees are away. Obama shooting pool is cool, Bush playing a kids game isn’t cool. Late Show Fun Facts. Top 10 worst summer jobs. Paris Hilton talks about her new boyfriend and Dave talks to him in the back. She says he’s a better fit and Dave says what the hell does that mean? Dave reads some of her tweets including fake ones. Dave shows some pictures of her and she talks about her BFF show. Derby winning jockey Calvin Borel. Comic Steven Wright does stand up.

Fallon: Real Names, Real Jobs: Giving celebs jobs based on their real names, this was stupid. Wheel of Carpet Samples with a lot of crazy rules. Bradley Cooper talks about the Hangover. Then he shows the best hangover solutions. Denise Richards talks about her life and parents. Mandy Moore performs, she is freakin beautiful.

Ferguson: Craig is having some sexy talk with someone on the phone who he reveals to be Dave. Chris Kattan and Comic Henry Cho.

Last Call: Repeat.