Daily Show: Goldman Sachs made 20 billion and is giving $700,000 bonus to each employee so Jon explains how they used everyone as a pyramid. More comments from Sontomayor hearing and Lindsey Graham is an ass. Wyatt Cenac reports on Sotomayor’s upbringing calling her racist and interviewing people from her past about it. The guest talks about water conservation.
Conan: An ad from Gov. Arnold zooms closer and closer into his face then his eye. Bob Costas keeps interrupting Obama and asking him more questions. All guy staff members including most of the band wear swimsuits and wash a car. Conan talks to Bernie Madoff’s Jail Coach and he has better sounding terms for bad jail acts. Andy tries Lady Gaga’s spark shooting bra. Gerard Butler talks about his body in 300, the Jennifer Aniston rumors, being popular with the ladies, his small dog and his new movie. Venus Williams talks, then serves her fastest tennis serve to a padded up Conan. Daughtry performs.
Letterman:
Fallon: Jimmy as Robert Pattinson hanging out in a tree bashes Harry Potter. Then Jimmy as Daniel Radcliffe responds. Then a mashup of both with more ridiculous stuff. Lick it for Ten: the items were: Potter glasses propped up on the camera, the frame of a painting with a guy in there like the alive Potter paintings, a guy’s friend’s forehead with frosting in the shape of Harry’s lightning scar and finally an invisibility cloak which was revealed to have the Jonas Brothers underneath. Lauren Graham talks about her movie and having to sing at a prom, so Jimmy has a prom for her with flashing lights and him dancing with her. Bill Engvall talks about a trip. Jonas Brothers perform, their song actually wasn’t bad, who knew? Then he talks to them for a few seconds including some quick corny thing where they talk about fake twitter-like sites.
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