Thursday July 30th Late Night Talk Show Recap

Daily Show: People are afraid that universal healthcare is going to ruin theirs. John Hodgman comments on it. News networks discuss the beer the black professor, the cop and Obama drank. Jon and Wyatt recreate the gathering in a bar and go through a wide range of emotions. Judd Apatow talks about Funny People, being a jew like John, masturbating to one of John’s interviews and being bumped off the Time cover for Obama. Moment of Zen: clips from an episode of Mangum P.I. where he is in Hawaii looking for someone’s birth certificate.

Conan: The black professor’s and the cop’s wife fight in the white house. Conan talks to the fake mayor of Oklahoma City who says they have jobs that include being homeless, a thief and a hooker. Then Conan talks to a fake inmate who talked to Bernie Madoff and what he says about him sounds sexual. Googling with the stars has celebrities googling funny things related to themselves. Professional knife thrower Jack Dagger teaches Conan how to throw knifes then he tries to cut a cucumber sitting on wax Fonzie’s arm, but hits him a few times before getting it. Paul Giammati talks about the presidents and his new movie. Regina Spektor performs.

Letterman: They show a clip of young girls screaming in the audience when Dave mentions Ben Bernanke. Obama talking in a supermarket is interrupted by the voice of the speaker. Obama, the professor and the cop will star in The Hangover 2. Dave gives a guy in the audience pie. Dave says his sickness is gone and tells us that it was a tick borne sickness and shows pictures of how it infects. A guy in the audience asks Dave if the show is a rerun and when Dave says well you are here now then they show a clip of the guy at home watching it. Top 10 things overheard at the White House beer summit. Adam Sandler talks about making love to his wife, his kids and Funny People. Cage the Elephant performs.

Fallon: Miles comes out dressed as Toppy the Topical Newspaper to tell bad jokes then gets into a knife fight with Jimmy where Jimmy kills him. Audience members compete in a drum challenge, this bit is such a waste. Ashley Tisdale talks about being discovered in a mall at the age of 3, her family being infomercial stars, her new CD and Aliens in the Attic. Tim Meadows comes out with the top of his head bald saying it is the next big look then says it was for a movie so Jimmy shaves it off. Then Tim Meadows talks about doing comedy and moments on SNL. Jarvis Cocker performs.

Ferguson: The show starts off with about a dozen young women standing on the stage and Craig says he isn’t being chauvinistic. Then after the monologue he brings one guy on the stage to balance things out. James Spader and Craig try to fit oranges in his snake mug because an email asked that. He goes on to talk and talk and Rose Byrne had to be bumped off the show, but she’ll be on next week!