Daily Show: Senate shoots down the health care bill and the sides fight over what to call the public option.Wyatt Cenac talks about the conspiracy behind it all.Samantha Bee in a cow costume the whole time talks to people about automated financial trading. An author is the guest.
Letterman: Liberty holding a rake for fall.Amy Winehouse with skunk colored hair.Hitler’s skull has his moustache and hair.EmpireState building will be red and yellow for the Chinese and so will the traffic lights causing a massive pileup.Video of Dave backstage being watched by the Geico stack of cash then he whacks the eyes with a book and blood comes out.Top 10 things never before spoken by a hockey player presented by 10 Rangers team members.Madonna enters in with the Rangers players carrying her on their hockey sticks.She talks about her past appearances on the show including how she was high for one of them, divorcing her husband and her horse riding incident.During the interview Dave called the pizza place next door to order a pizza since Madonna never had a NY pizza slice.Then at the end of the interview they walk out of the studio and go next door to sit down and have a slice while people outside are taking pictures furiously.Harry Connick Jr talks then performs.
Conan: Michelle Obama guests on Sesame Street and Big Bird grills her about her husband’s socialist ideals and his birth certificate.A college bans sex in the dorms while a roommate is there so Conan shows a video of himself as the roommate acting like a nerd playing with his Gandalf and horse toys.Wizard of Oz in HD has the witch’s blood splatter all over the characters when she is melting.A hamster race for the audience members in the back row.Conan talks about and shows the video of Mayor Cory Booker being mad at him for making a joke about Newark.Then Conan says some good features of Newark, but the pictures are of bad things.He makes some more jokes about Newark.Then Conan invites Booker on the show to settle their differences.Kate Walsh talks and shows Conan some dance moves she did somewhere.Jesse Eisenberg talks about being mistaken for Napoleon Dynamite and a Jonas brother, having his first kiss on film, being a homebody when he was a kid and Zombieland.Brad Paisley performs.
Fallon: Fire shoots out of Jimmy’s eyes while he’s talking about an upcoming musical guest.Aaron Carter, Miley Cyrus and like always, Pete Wentz go down in the Who Cares Hindenbergh.I’m still mad they didn’t do a Wentz or Simpson one when Ashlee was on!Jeff Musial brings animals and they make the fire shoot out of a fox’s eyes.Jimmy asks a band member what he’s going to do for his birthday and he just says make sweet love to his woman and it cracks everyone up.Jack McBrayer talks about the Emmys and some other stories.Amy Brenneman talks about Private Practive.Both her and Jack shoot fire from their eyes, Jack with a goofy grin on his face.Owen Benjamin does standup.
Ferguson: Craig communicates with a weird guy in the audience through a spinning tube.Jenna Elfman.Dom Irrera does standup then talks.
Last Call: Actor Chris Pratt talks about getting his start in the business, marrying his wife Anna Faris and Parks and Recreation. A woman from a burlesque show titled Naked Girls Reading talks about it and shows some censored clips of it.The Like performs.
Daily Show: Sean Hannity attends a protest for farmer’s water and blames it on a poor little fish.Water was found on the moon, but Aasif Mandvi says India found it and that America provided tech support for India this time. Ron Paul is the guest.
Letterman: Liberty holding her nose because of skunks. Sarah Palin’s book cover is her in lingerie with a guy like a romance novel. Capt. Sullenberger’s plane is doing flips in the air. A guy on the news mispronounces the “Rogue” in Palin’s “Going Rogue” book title. Small Town News. Top 10 Sarah Palin tips for writing a book. Kelsey Grammar talks entirely about his heart attack including how it happened and the treatments he received after it. They do a comedy bit showing that he has an iPacemaker and they put the boom mic next to his chest and it plays music. Alyson Hannigan talks about her new baby, her own childhood and How I Met Your Mother. Miranda Lambert performs.
Conan: Andy has to be held back like a child to get the swine flu vaccine. A guy with a Chicago accent narrates the video for the city to the Olympic Committee and then Rio’s video. Wizard of Oz in HD has The Lion’s crotch censored and it swings around. Cody Devereux, the show’s vampire intern, is upset the girl he liked left so he runs out into the sun and melts again. Celebrity Survey. John Krasinki tells stories, talks about the Office and does a marionette imitation of which Conan then joins in. Patton Oswalt. Comedian Quinn Dahle does standup.
Fallon: Audience members compete to throw hot dogs though the mouths of the Full House cast: Bob Saget, Dave Coulier and John Stamos. Usain Bolt talks to Jimmy for a minute then they do a speed walk competition around the studio. Jude Law talks about being in Hamlet on Broadway, then reads the lyrics of Poker Face in Shakespearean style and teaches Jimmy some swordplay. Felicia Day talks about her web series The Guild and World of Warcraft. Sunny Day Real Estate performs.
Ferguson: Craig talks about his new tattoo on his forearm and how some people told him they don’t like it. I don’t. James Spader. A comedian does standup. Laura Isobar performs.
Last Call: From an archery range. Writer Tucker Max talks about his book and movie about his nights of debauchery. Olympic skier Emily Cook. Wild Light performs.
Daily show: People protest the G20 summit and Obama has comments on Iran’s missiles.Fox News goes crazy over school children singing a song about Obama. Guest is an author who talks about predictions.
Conan: Conan talks about his head injury quickly.Hugo Chavez’s subtitles say he’s talking about his big subs compared to our one foot ones while he makes the appropriate hand gestures.Wizard of Oz in high def shows Dorothy with a beard.Tyra keeps smiling with her eyes while Larry King asks her questions.Max Weinberg is leaving the show for a few weeks so he is rolled out of the studio on his drum platform, then a manican of him on the stand is hit by a truck.We see it from another angle and his head flies off.Conan and Andy talks about what happened on Friday’s show to Conan’s head, showing the clip and talking about the aftermath.The clip was Conan racing Teri Hatcher outside then into the building and him sliding on the studio floor onto his back then his head.He talks about how he wanted to continue the show, but he couldn’t remember the blue card notes and had a hard time answering questions.Now he says he is feeling fine.Drew Barrymore comes out with a helmet for Conan, then talks about falling on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and falling on her new movie Whip It.Young jockey Joe Talamo talks about the sport.Paramore performs.
Letterman: Liberty is pregnant.Donald Trump has skunk colored hair.A guy plays a wooden instrument in front of the UN.Qaddafi Pult launches him into the wall of his palace.Paul and Alan aren’t there for Yom Kippor, so a black guy was filling in for Paul and a girl filling in for Alan.Dave talks about his son at lunch again and how this time he had spaghetti, but turned down tacos.Top 10 tips for being cool presented by Brody Jenner who came off looking like the douche he is.Felicity Huffman talks about the chickens she got for her kids, her husband’s woodworking and Desperate Housewives.Dr. Oz talks about swine flu, health care and starvation.The Avett Brothers perform.
Fallon: Freestylin with The Roots included grunge, Indian and Disney songs.Jimmy, Higgins, Kimbo Slice and another black guy do a skit that is an ad for their breakway furniture store and they just break all the breakaway furniture.David Duchovny.Kimbo Slice talks about getting into fighting then he teaches Jimmy some moves.Dirty Projectors perform.
Ferguson: Wavy the Crocodile starts off the show.Chris O’Donnell.Paula Poundstone does standup then chats.
Real time: Michael Moore via satellite. Elliot Spitzer is on the panel. Picture of Obama with Kanye's crop circle haircut and Bill goes through the aftermath of what would happen. John Waters joins the panel. New Rules: Momar Kaddafi needs to go away again, China had a cell phone ad that looked like it had a penis, sports bars are just fat guys yelling at the tv, Mackenzie Phillips story is bad, stop putting food in soap, America should replace the bald eagle with the puppy who can't get up.
Letterman: Recreation of Boris Yeltzin outside hailing a cab in his underpants. Dave mentions that it is the 5000th show. Bill Clinton makes noises with his mouth on Larry King. Dave talks about a guy in the audience who wants something free. Dave shows a billboard congratulating him on his 5000th show, but first we see a huge Leno billboard then way below it is a tiny one for Dave. Top 10 questions to ask yourself before spending $63,500 on dinner with Sarah Palin. Bruce Willis comes out in a slanket and he has a wig attachment. Dave throws an unopened slanket and Bruce’s to the guy in the audience. Video of Bruce alone in the dark studio earlier today. Bruce talks about his family and his new movie. LL Cool J talks about NCIS Los Angeles. The Noisettes perform.
Conan: Repeat tonight! The taping was cancelled because Conan fell down a flight of stairs and banged his head during a skit. More info here: http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b146222_conan_obrien_bumps_his_bean_during.html
Fallon: Weekly thank you notes. Wheel of Carpet Samples including a quick fun fact video, a space that says “A New Car” then “pet sample” underneath and a video for Wheel of Carpet Samples, the teen drama, starring Jimmy with a moustache. Julianne Marguiles talks about her SNL skit where she spit food into Chris Kattan’s mouth and her new show The Good Wife. Then she, Jimmy and two audience members play charades. Kevin Smith talks about a fan who tattooed his name on himself and his new book. Chef Michael Schlow cooks with Jimmy and Kevin.
Ferguson: Marg Helgenberger in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book. Ted Danson. Writers and directors Christopher Miller and Phil Lord.
Last Call: From a boat on a river in Chicago. Mekhi Phifer. A tour of Chicago. Ladyhawke performs.
Daily show: More speeches from the UN health care summit, this time including Ahmedinjad and Kaddaffi’s ridiculous comments.Samantha Bee discusses how the UN is reacting to Kaddaffi going overtime.One of Obama’s fundraisers was accused of a Ponzi scheme.Rod Blagovich is the guest.
Letterman: Picture of Dave in a Walmart outfit in Walmart.Kadaffi playing banjo.Mahmoud’s Komedy Klassic: Mahmoud said his nation has gone through a successful democratic election.Kaddaffi throws a piece of paper behind him and they play the show’s glass breaking sound effect like when Dave does it.The show 6 months from now has an older guy as Dave.Tyra Banks tries to teach Larry King to smile with his eyes and his mouth comes off.Top 10 reasons to visit New Zealand presented by the country’s prime minister.Dave says he said New England by mistake.Craig Ferguson tells some stories and talks about his addiction issues in his book.Kristen Chenowith talks about winning her Emmy, working on Pushing Daisies and her voice.Snow Patrol performs.
Conan: Mahmoud reads spoilers from the next Sex and the City movie so people leave.Ad for Nixon sung by Jimi Hendrix.Conan has a hunky vampire assistant who runs outside only to get burned and go up in flames.Audience Plugs had Conan talking to audience members who had things to plug.It included a guy’s myspace for his band, the Tonight show band singing a tune for a guy’s Italian ice shop, Andy giving a picture of Idaho to the Universal tram and Mr. T showing up to tell people to buy a guy’s Barry Manilow tickets on Ebay.Dave Salmoni brings animals including a bear that eats a marshmallow out of Conan’s mouth.Joel McHale says his jokes about Ryan Seacrest the last time he was on the show got him in trouble, talks about other celebrities he makes fun of, his new movie and Community.India Arie performs.
Fallon: Fake new fall tv shows.Megan Fox talks about preparing for SNL, being afraid of the dark, an Iphone game she likes and her new movie.Anthony Anderson talks about Law and Order, his uncle with 6 fingers and makes Jimmy freestyle rap.Nick Swisher from the Yankees.Phoenix performs.
Ferguson: Reba McEntire in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book.Jason Schwartzman.Angela Kinsey talks about growing up in Indonesia.
Last Call: From a sushi restaurant.Actor Mike Henry who does the voice of Cleveland from Family Guy.Sneaker customizer Chris Hui.Paolo Nutini performs.
Ellen: Christina Applegate talks about how she wanted to bitch at ABC for cancelling Samantha Who if she won the Emmy and about breast cancer awareness.Vince Vaughn makes a surprise appearance for a tropical island themed game to talk about his new movie Couple’s Retreat.
Daily Show: World leaders talk about global climate in NYC.Aasif Mandvi reports in video about the wind on the earth decreasing and how it means we are doomed.He’s told it’s the trees fault so he spends rest of the piece afraid of trees.TomRidge is the guest.
Letterman: Countdown clock until Mahmoud leaves NYC.Also the Madoff clock.Football player cries in reaction to Plaxico Burress sentence.Qaddafi is afraid of elevators so he uses a Qaddafi-pult to launch him up into the building.Qaddafi says “keep fucking that chicken” to end his speech.Dave tells a story about his son who keeps eating a bagel, tomato and water at lunch at school.Dave goes through fake new fall shows, this was bad.Stupid Pet Tricks has a dog answer a telephon, a dog hit a catapult then catch the treat in the air and a dog jump into a travelbag.Alan Kalter has a secret service agent with him, but when he realizes there are no more presidents on the show the agent punches out Alan, then a voiceover of his plays while he’s out.Simon Baker tells some stories about meeting fans and his work on TV.Mary J. Blige performs.
Conan: Qaddafi complains about a Chinese place ripping him off and throws the menu.Obama keeps repeating “some days it seems a lot longer.”John Edwards’ baby’s sonogram picture has a full head of hair.Conan quits a PSA when he hears he won’t be paid.Andy says he hopes we all die from swine flu when he hears the next bad disease coming.Max won’t lie about swine flu like he does about his sexual diseases.Conan shows trends that are in and similar trends that aren’t in.This was like the gags on the old show where they bring in a bunch of random ridiculous stuff.It included a touchy Ipod salesmen touching a guy creepily and a Asian mariachi band, who then also got touched.Martin Short.Tim Gunn talks about when he was young and strange fashions.Wynonna performs.
Fallon: Ron Dempsey, Flashback Master, returns to tell Jimmy his flashbacks suck.Jimmy’s was about his first day at college and Ron’s was him eating cereal.Jimmy flash forwards to him interviewing Amy Poehler, but Ron is there with a beard from the future.Amy Poehler talks about her appearance on the show last night, returning to SNL, Parks and Recreation and being at the Emmy Awards.Then she and Jimmy race baby strollers with balloon babies around the audience and backstage.Dan Fogler talks about working on Putnam County Spelling Bee, his band and does a great Christopher Walken voice.Parkour athletes show off their moves around the set then talk quick with Jimmy.Comic Wayne Federman does standup.
Ferguson: Drew Carey in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book.Jennifer Love Hewitt talks about Ghost Whisperer, her boyfriend and vampires.Entertainment Weekly Writer Ken Tucker talks about the new fall shows including Jay Leno.Arctic Monkeys perform.
Last Call: From a barber shop and Carson gets a haircut and shave.Ryan Friedlinghaus from West Coast Choppers.Skeleton racer Katie Uhlaender.Amazing Baby performs.
Bonnie: Michael Emerson talks about his Emmy win, his wife and preparing for the show. Then about working in Hawaii and with the Lost cast. Phil Keoghan. Jeff Ross does standup then talks.
Daily Show: Jon thanks the staff for their Emmy win and says this past year he really thinks they deserve it.Obama was on all 5 Sunday Morning shows and news networks thinks hes overexposed.Republicans speak at a conference.One of them talks about homosexuality.Footage of Tom Delay on Dancing with the Stars.Guest is author Vali Nasr.
Letterman: Momar Kadafi and Mahmoud Ahmedinijad iteneries include visiting the Rachael Ray show to cook chili cheese goat nuggets.The Ernie Anastos saying “keep fucking that chicken” clip, pretty late huh?Bill Clinton went to North Korea to rescue two women from a dictator, tonight he rescues the audience from Dave.Bill Clinton talks about the project he’s working on and his trip to North Korea.Lebron James talks about his new documentary.Then he and Dave shoot some hoops.
Conan: Picture of Obama with an eraser afro like Kid from Kid and Play.Obama’s health care plan in 4 seconds was clips of him edited together to say “Stop whining about health care you jackass.”Video of Conan showing his private elevator to avoid swine flu then maceing a lady who gets into his.A pig bites Andy and he sneezes then faints.Max says if everyone wore a swine flu mask he wouldn’t stand out as much when he exposes himself on the subway.Conan and Andy visit the anime studio again to just make up dialogue to anime clips.This had to be the worst thing they have done on the new show.Rebecca Romajin shows a picture of Conan on a bike in full biking gear, goes through advice she gave in a magazine for women and talks about Eastwick.Lisa Lampenelli tells dirty jokes about her husband and talks about her new book.Monsters of Folk perform.
Fallon: Head Swap turns into the graphics guy tricking Jimmy into brining fake cocaine to a bunch of mobsters, but then he comes and saves him.Ultimate Mustache Championship has Jimmy and Higgins commentating a fight between guys dressed as John Stossel’s and Geraldo Rivera’s mustaches in a real ring including a UFC ref and a ring girl.During the bit it is interrupted by a station preview for a show called Decetive JamFace which was Miles with jam all over his face.Seth Meyers talks about the Thursday SNL, preparing for the big premiere and shows a clip of the Italian SNL where they cut to a naked lady after Weekend Update.Then his brother Josh Meyers comes out to play the same guessing what answers the other person gave game that they did last time.Basketball player Chris Paul talks about his new book quickly then goes into the halls with Jimmy to play Seth and Josh, who were all dressed up in goofy sporting gear, at a game of dodgeball by the elevator bank.As they walk there they see Amy Poehler on the elevator.Landon Pigg performs.
Ferguson: Neil Patrick Harris in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book.Craig checks in with Tim Meadows about the new fall TV season including Tim wanting to be on Dancing with the Stars and him fast forwarding through Craig.Reba McEntire talks then later performs.Dave Annable.
Last Call: From an outdoor bar in VeniceBeach.Stan Lee talks about the history and current work of Marvel.A computer graphics designer talks about the movies he's worked on. Mat Kearney performs.
Friday Ellen: Neil Patrick Harris talks about preparing to host the Emmys, American Idol and plays a celebrity guessing game with Ellen.Anna Faris talks about her husband and her new movie.Colbie Caillat performs.Kevin Skinner performs.
Friday Oprah: Oprah is live in NYC’s Central Park.Mayor Mike Bloomberg comes out to talk about the city quickly.In a video package David Letterman does the Top 10 Reasons to Watch Oprah this Season.Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig surprise Oprah and talk about their Broadway play.Mariah Carey performs, talks about her new Oprah movie and then Nick Cannon comes out to talk about their relationship.Regis and Kelly talk about working in the city and on the talkshow.
Monday Ellen: Jennifer Love Hewitt talks about her boyfriend Jamie Kennedy, the reality shows she likes and Ghost Whisperer.Emmy red carpet interviews.A young violinist.Kelly Osbourne and her dancing partner.
Tuesday View: Craig Ferguson talks about his past alcohol addiction and how he likes doing the talk show.
Tuesday Ellen: Jennifer Garner talks about her piece in O magazine, her kids and her new movie.Then later she does a quick workout with Ellen.Comic Joe Wong does standup, it wasn’t as good as his set from Letterman.
Letterman: Liberty wears sunglasses and an earpiece.Presidential limo can’t fit into the parking space.Dave talks about a lady in the audience who brought a heart shaped potato with her that she had showed on the show 2 years earlier.President Barack Obama is tonight’s guest and first thing he wants when he comes out is to see the heart shaped potato and the lady lets him keep it.Obama talks a variety of topics both serious and non-serious.
Conan: Megan Fox wrote on Conan's autograph wall, "Conan I love you, you are a man like no other, see you in my dreams, Megan Fox."So Conan goes backstage to the wall to chainsaw that piece out then locks it in a safe.Before Photoshop is pictures photoshopped to what they supposedly looked like originally.It had the usual pop culture jokes including poor Scott Baio working at an Arbys.Ricky Gervais pours water onto Conan’s hair then styles it and makes him make a stupid face.Chicken Charlie makes deep fried food with Conan including deep frying his sunglasses and a Spiderman toy.Lyrnyrd Skynyrd performs.
Fallon: Jimmy shows an old style video tape that teaches audience members how to do their duty including instructions for simple tasks.This was pretty funny.Empty your Pockets has Jimmy looking what audience members have in their pockets or pocketbooks.A new page named Clue hands Jimmy a paper, where's Munkus?The bit included a picture of a normal, Queen Elizabeth and astronaut version of Bob Seger.Clive Owen talks about his new movie then plays darts with Jimmy.Joanna Garcia talks about the Yankees and her role on Gossip Girl.Living Colour performs.
Ferguson: Craig starts the show with Wavy the Crocodile.Danny Devito in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book.Marg Helgenberger.Dule Hill.Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears perform.
Real time: Glenn Beck is on the Time magazine cover so Bill has some more fake covers that make him look bad. David Cross is the guest. New Rules: Love Happens movie isn't for guys. No surprise Blockbuster stores are closing. Don't need a corpse having sex exhibition. Jimmy Carter must stop saying Republicans are racist. UFOs did Kanye's hair. Must reform your own health if you're going to complain about health care reform.
Conan: The old guys from The Muppets heckle Obama.Canada’s Got Talent only has people sawing trees.Max Weinberg edited into an Acorn video telling them how to fraud a prostitution ring.Andy talks about winning Celebrity Jeopardy and shows an easy question about corn dogs.Triumph on-air at a real Jewish telethon singing a song about his dog parents, reading a message from Conan and singing Witch Doctor and the Happy Days theme song with some Jewish guys.Courtney Cox talks about her new show.Ted Danson tells some Larry David stories, talks about Damages and his new show.Nelly Furtado sings in Spanish.
Fallon: Jimmy writes his weekly thank you letters to people and things in the news, including it being his birthday on Saturday.Jimmy shows the video of the winner of the Late Night Intern Contest, which was actually pretty funny and was about him being a film student.Then he comes out to talk to Jimmy, gets shirts, laptop and camera and has to get donuts for the audience.Danny Devito talks about getting his start in the business, sharing an apt with Michael Douglass, Sunny in Philly and the drink he sells.James Blake talks about his clothing line and tennis.Then him and Jimmy play Tennis Poker hitting tennis balls to break plates with poker cards on them.Keri Hilson performs.
No Last Call tonight, they aired Community instead, weird!
Daily Show: Ernie Anastas from NY’s Fox channel tells the weather guy to “keep fucking that chicken”.Afganistan’s voting is rigged and John Oliver comments on it.Bill Clinton is the guest.
Conan: Oprah talks about Michael Jackson being so pale, but Conan thinks it was about him.ABC Outsiders special on albino people has an image of Conan.Andy will try it has Andy and a few audience members riding a big circular bike outside the studio.Conando on a boat included a fake shark passing by with the bad guy in his mouth and Andy with the audience members on the bike interrupting Conan’s kiss with the girl.Megan Fox talks about going to Comiccon and since she’s short no one recognizes her there.Like she already mentioned on Letterman, she told Conan she had a crush on him and says her two favorite things he does is his string dance and his high pitched singing voice so he sings a little for her.Then she talks about her favorite franchise restaurants, being nervous about hosting SNL, her fear of flying and her lesbian kiss in Jennifer’s Body.Louie C.K. does a little standup then talks with Conan.AGT winner Kevin Skinner performs.
Fallon: Questions with Quest Love had him internally thinking about interesting and funny questions in life then Jimmy responding to his thoughts.Audience facebook statuses including people putting their heads into other images.Dennis Quaid talks about his new movie then helps Jimmy hit golf balls then they compete to get a ball into a bucket and then into the Root’s band member’s sousaphone.Elisabeth Moss talks about her emmy nomination for Mad Men and her soon to be husband Fred Armisen.Then she throws a bouquet into the audience like a bride.Megadeth performs.
Last Call: From a laser observatory.Frank Caliendo talks about his act, his Vegas show and does a few, but not many, impressions.Race car driver Casey Surrie.Emily Wells performs.
Daily Show: Obama talks about Wall Street and Joe Wilson has to apologize in front of Congress.Lewis Black complains about Joe Wilson, Serena Williams and Kanye West.Ricky Gervais is the guest.
Conan: Ben Bernanke says the recession is over and a Mission Accomplished banner drops down behind him.Conan talks about black issues and the black band member has inner thoughts about how white Conan is.Andy shows us a video of him on the Jeopardy set talking to Alex and competing in rehearsal with Wolf Blitzer and Dana Delaney.Aaron Eckhart.Michael Strahan.The Yeah Yeah Yeahs perform.
Fallon: Jimmy reads fake college class descriptions and they are joke classes.Three Nascar racers come out and play a game with Jimmy where they hold onto shockers.Charlize Theron laughs hard at Jimmy making fun of her African language, then plays beer pong with him and Jimmy loses again.David Boreanez talks about Bones and his fear of birds.Q-Tip performs.
Last Call: From a pool hall.Seth Green talks about Robot Chicken.Warped tour founder Kevin Lyman.Video about Pete Yorn and he performs.I need to watch very end online.
Regis: Megan Fox talks about her fame, the paparazzi, what she’s working on and Jennifer’s Body.Serena Williams.A guy is covered in ice for an hour and 42 minutes for a Guinness World Record.
Daily Show: Drudge Report talks about kids cheering when black kids beat up a white kid.Clips from an ACORN scandal where they allow prostitutes.Jason Jones reports on the Arizona capitol building that is up for sale and he breaks down how bad a deal it is.Matt Damon is the guest.Moment of Zen is Tom Delay on Dancing promo.
Conan: Taylor Swift’s music video is a fat guy flailing his arms.A schedule of Joe Biden saying crazy things during his day in Iraq.Video of La Bamba Rock Band.Conan works with a pool cleaner.Jennifer Aniston talks about old sitcoms she was on that failed, Conan shows a clip of one in German and she talks about her new movie.Tennis player Melanie Oudin.Phoenix performs.
Fallon: Iphone Apps: Stingify your voice had a really good Sting impersonator singing what Jimmy said.Mugshot yourself turns your pictures into mugshots.Virtual Resiser has you feed Paul Reiser until he explodes then parties.Problem identifier tells you the problems of people you take pictures of.Order Subway sandwiches 5 years ahead has a video clip of Jimmy and the employee in beards 5 years later in the Subway store and they made it wrong.Jimmy’s preacher is in the audience talking about indigestion and asking audience members about it.Anna Faris talks about playing the bimbo and doing voices for her new movie.That awful Space Train sketch from the very first episode returns and has Anna slapping Jimmy over another girl.Alan Cumming talks about becoming a citizen, preparing to do the Spiderman play and teaches Jimmy a trick to loosen the tongue with a paper towel.Ghostface performs.
Last Call: Carson is at his childhood burger place. Jesse Metcalfe talks about working with Michael Douglas and his new movie. Graffiti artist Caleb Aero talks and does a mural of Carson. A package of Metric talking about themselves then they perform.
Rachael: Ashlee Simpson Wentz talks about her husband, baby and Melrose Place.
View: Kate Gossellin co-hosts again.The ladies talk about Patrick Swayze.Dr Phil talks about current events and Kate.Taylor Swift basically says she didn’t let the Kanye incident bother her too much and she thanks her fans for their support.Then they show a home video of her hearing her country award nomination at home with her mother and she announces she bought a condo to live alone.She performs two songs.
Jay Leno Show: Jay begins with the usual monologue and short video clip bits.Video of Jay on Cheaters with Kevin cheating on a Jay lookalike.A guy from The Hangover sings a song to a lady at a gas station.Jerry Seinfeld talks about Jay getting the show, being the first guest and Curb Your Enthusiasm.Jerry has Oprah live on video and she says she couldn’t be the first guest.Jay is edited into Obama interview footage so it looks like he is interviewing him.Kanye West talks about what he did at the VMAs simply apologizing.Jay Z, Rhianna and Kanye West perform together.Headlines to end the show.Don’t expect any more of these, the show was pretty bad and I don’t plan on watching a talk show at 10:00.
Daily Show: Jon is in a fat suit to start the show, but John Oliver comes in to say he needs a filter like Brian Williams, then he’s back to normal.Jon talks about the health care debate and Joe Wilson yelling liar.Fox News covers the anti-Obama extremist rally and Jon shows clips of the crazy people. Lebron James is the guest and Jon tries to bribe him with gifts into coming to the Knicks. Jon checks in with Stephen and he says he was on safari in Obama's birthplace. Moment of Zen is Jon dancing around the studio in his fat suit.
Conan: Kanye at the VMA’s autotuned to make a song.Serena Williams’ Edible Tennis Balls to shove down your throat.Audiencee Awards: Neil Patrick Harris and Fred Flinstone lookalikes, guy who must looks like a professor who could get you weed, guy all tattooed is least likely to work at a furniture store, guy with most facebook friends also has zero real life friends, person with worst seat is up in the rafters and Conan wins best host, but Andy says Beyonce was better.Stuntman Steven Ho teaches Conan to avoid and get hit by rubber paddles, to take part in a complicated fight scene with kicks and to jump through an exploding window into boxes.Charlize Theron talks about her crush on MacGyver, her OCD and her new movie.Dave Matthews Band performs.
Fallon: Slowjammin the news about the health care bill and they make it sound sexual.Real Housewives of Late Night has Jimmy, Higgins, Miles, the director and the white Roots member play their wives.Interesting idea, but wasn’t too funny and went too long.John McCain talks about when he did SNL and Jimmy shows an old never aired clip of a cut sketch where John overdoes eyerolling.Then he talks about current events, especially health care and answers twitter questions.Miranda Cosgrove talks about the VMAs and her show.Rufus Wainwright performs.
Last Call: Carson Daly is finally back. Carson is at a turtle racing bar. Allison Brie talks about working on Community and Mad Men. Motocross rider Brian Deegan. Franz Ferdinand performs.
Regis: The US Open women’s champ comes in during the opening to talk about it.Chace Crawford talks about getting the role for Footloose and Gossip Girl.Michael Strahan.Guinness World Records has a woman getting into a suitcase bag in 5 seconds.
View: Kate Gossellin co-hosts.Victoria Beckham talks about fashion, her husband and her kids.Dr Oz.
Real time: Bill dressed as a cowboy advertises his flammable flag store that has other anti-Obama memorabilia. Bill makes up fake misleading Drudge Report headlines.Obama comes out to give his speech to rap music. Kathy Griffin joins the panel. New rules:Politicians should put their blackberry down while president is speaking. Don't be surprised someone choked Tila Tequila. Obama should tell children to stop being obese. Don't bring babies to public swimming pools. Stop talking about Michelle Obama's arms. Democrats must be assholes. Bill complains about Obama doing what the Republicans tell him to when they get upset about something.
Letterman: Liberty wearing a red dress and heels showing off her leg.World Leaders on the Late Show: Kim Jong Il sits in the band has his head photoshoppped onto the guitarist.Breyers introduce ice cream for heterosexual couples that makes fun of how bad married life is.Late Show Fun Facts and there is a London Bobby standing in the audience who then runs away.Top 10 signs you picked a bad college.Michael Douglas talks many topics including the new Wall Street movie.Leighton Meester talks about two movies she worked on over the summer, being pulled over for still having blood makeup on her face, her dog who she thinks looks like Richard Gere and the premiere of Gossip Girl.Kid Cudi performs.
Conan: Conan’s words edited together to say he’s the most overpaid guy on tv and he keeps his money in Bank of America.Max Weinberg does a commercial for Eagle Butter male stimulant.For the Universal tram outside Conan rolls Andy who’s inside a big clear ball over big bowling pins.Andy ran over and broke the studio lot’s gate while rolling around in the ball.In the Year 3000 with Andy.Antonio Banderas talks about his movie and then gets Conan, Andy, the band and himself to all throw tomatoes at each other.Bill Hader tells stories of fans meeting him that imitate his characters and what it was like doing voiceover work.Chris Cornell sings John Lennon’s Imagine.
Fallon: Jimmy shows videos he taped from his office window of people whose umbrellas broke because of the wind in NYC.This was great, he should tape more videos of funny happenings going down on the street.Jimmy writes his weekly thank you letters to people and events in the news.Audience members compete in the Bing challenge to search for something the fastest while Jimmy acts like an office manager.This also included a video about office parties which turned into the narrator talking about his hangover at age 14.Russel Brand talks about the audience member Bryan Brinkman from last time he was on, the VMA’s and sings a quick song.Kaitlin Olson talks about Sunny in Phily, her husband whose on the show and having her head shaved when she was young because of an accident.George Jones performs and gives Jimmy a stuffed possum.
Ferguson: Craig opens the show addressing the 9/11 anniversary saying how great America is.John Waters in a video reads an excerpt from Craig’s book.The Rather Late Programme with Prince Charles has Craig answering a question from a supposed Jay Leno and says the network is stupid, then has Stupid Peasant tricks where he steals Craig’s wallet and the bobby stops him.Yes, a bobby made an appearance on both Letterman and Ferguson tonight.Drew Carey talks about TPiR, what he does for fun and they want to do a Drew Carey Show reunion.Mindy Kaling.
Bonnie: Rod Blagovech talks about his case and how his messages are pieces taken out of context.Niecy Nash.The Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Ellen: Ellen talks more about the Idol announcement and about her first anniversary with Portia.Katherine Heigl announces she has adopted a baby from Korea and talks about it.A little kid who drove his parents car and ran from police talks about it and gets a gift, a kiddie car, from Ellen for doing it… weird.Nick Cannon talks about meeting Mariah Carey then plays a word game.
