Daily Show: World leaders talk about global climate in NYC. Aasif Mandvi reports in video about the wind on the earth decreasing and how it means we are doomed. He’s told it’s the trees fault so he spends rest of the piece afraid of trees.
Letterman: Countdown clock until Mahmoud leaves NYC. Also the Madoff clock. Football player cries in reaction to Plaxico Burress sentence. Qaddafi is afraid of elevators so he uses a Qaddafi-pult to launch him up into the building. Qaddafi says “keep fucking that chicken” to end his speech. Dave tells a story about his son who keeps eating a bagel, tomato and water at lunch at school. Dave goes through fake new fall shows, this was bad. Stupid Pet Tricks has a dog answer a telephon, a dog hit a catapult then catch the treat in the air and a dog jump into a travelbag. Alan Kalter has a secret service agent with him, but when he realizes there are no more presidents on the show the agent punches out Alan, then a voiceover of his plays while he’s out. Simon Baker tells some stories about meeting fans and his work on TV. Mary J. Blige performs.
Conan: Qaddafi complains about a Chinese place ripping him off and throws the menu. Obama keeps repeating “some days it seems a lot longer.” John Edwards’ baby’s sonogram picture has a full head of hair. Conan quits a PSA when he hears he won’t be paid. Andy says he hopes we all die from swine flu when he hears the next bad disease coming. Max won’t lie about swine flu like he does about his sexual diseases. Conan shows trends that are in and similar trends that aren’t in. This was like the gags on the old show where they bring in a bunch of random ridiculous stuff. It included a touchy Ipod salesmen touching a guy creepily and a Asian mariachi band, who then also got touched. Martin Short. Tim Gunn talks about when he was young and strange fashions. Wynonna performs.
Fallon: Ron Dempsey, Flashback Master, returns to tell Jimmy his flashbacks suck. Jimmy’s was about his first day at college and Ron’s was him eating cereal. Jimmy flash forwards to him interviewing Amy Poehler, but Ron is there with a beard from the future. Amy Poehler talks about her appearance on the show last night, returning to SNL, Parks and Recreation and being at the Emmy Awards. Then she and Jimmy race baby strollers with balloon babies around the audience and backstage. Dan Fogler talks about working on Putnam County Spelling Bee, his band and does a great Christopher Walken voice. Parkour athletes show off their moves around the set then talk quick with Jimmy. Comic Wayne Federman does standup.
Last Call: From a barber shop and
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